A Fallen Woman
by glarebear
Summary: Rey is determined to make her junior year at her new high school a memorable one. But when she decides to help her new best friend avoid bullying in a rather unconventional way, she suddenly becomes notorious for all of the wrong reasons. Having caught the attention of the rumor mill and wayward bad boy Ben Solo, how will Rey use her newly tarnished reputation to her advantage?
1. Chapter 1

*This story will incorporate some themes from "Easy A" and "The Scarlet Letter," but will follow neither plot line to a T.

* * *

Rey Kenobi was in a new town, starting a new school with new faces, but for her there was really nothing _new_ about any of this. This nervous twisting in her gut was _not_ new, neither was the dead weight of dread that had settled over her, or the underlying thirst to prove herself that was met in equal parts by a desire to just blend in and disappear. This was the fourth school she'd attended in as many years, having been shifted around from foster home to foster home, and she was well versed in the novelty of being the "new kid." She knew all about the gossip that it would entail, the unwanted attention it would bring, and the make or break of first impressions.

This year, though...This year would be different. She would make sure of it, because for the first time in her sixteen years of life, Rey actually felt hopeful about her future. Her new guardian, Luke Skywalker, had been very helpful in that regard so far. She'd only been in his home since the start of summer two months ago, but the stability and companionship he'd provided had done wonders for her mental health. There were other things that reassured her too. Things like how he had plenty of his own money so she knew he wasn't just using her for the government checks. Or how he was a bachelor with no other children for her to compete with. How he'd actually _accepted_ her and didn't expect her to be his personal Cinderella. He'd taken her to the movies and bowling, enrolled her in Bojustsu classes, given her unlimited use of his pool. Not to mention, she had her _own_ bedroom with a bathroom attached that was nearly the size of her entire previous foster home. It felt almost criminal to have such luxuries, and she still found herself struggling with the guilt of it at times, and fear over the impermanence of it all.

Because Rey Kenobi was also _very_ well versed in the grim reality of being unwanted and discarded.

But Luke seemed...different. He wasn't unkind, disinterested or intolerant of her. At least not so far, and to that end, she was starting to feel more comfortable and—surprisingly—trusting of hercurrent arrangement.

And that was what made this school year so important. She thought that she may actually be at this school for a while, perhaps even until she graduated, and so she couldn't really afford to fall under the " _loser"_ or _"penniless orphan"_ or _"nobody from nowhere"_ stereotypes she was usually saddled with.

Maybe this year it would help that Luke had given her a generous allowance to buy _nice_ school clothes for once, and she would no longer have to wear the out of style, second hand, ill fitted ones from the salvation army. And her new school didn't have a uniform, only a dress code, which meant that she could have a bit of freedom to wear what _she_ liked. Which today was a knee length yellow sundress with a denim jacket and brown flats. It was comfortable, yellow was her favorite color, and while none of it was exactly _designer label_ or _teen vogue,_ she felt good. Maybe she looked good too.

She hoped.

She really hated the fact that she even cared about silly things like that, but she knew well enough that it would be her appearance that everyone judged her by first, and so, reluctantly, she'd taken a bit of extra effort with it. She put on makeup she'd gotten as a "welcome to the family" gift from Luke's twin sister, Leia. She hadn't gotten to meet her yet, so she couldn't really blame the woman for assuming that Rey was a normal teenager who would be chuffed to bits to receive a Sephora gift card. In truth Rey _was_ delighted to have received a gift at all, and then equally intimidated knowing she'd have to _use_ it. Luke had given her a ride to the mall, and then perused the book store while Rey had cluelessly perused the endless colorful displays of lipsticks and eyeshadows and foundations that she had absolutely no idea what to do with.

Thankfully the sales woman did, and she happily chatted away about the importance of eye primers and contour kits as she helped Rey pick out the right colors and brushes. When she'd finally made her purchase, she'd been floored to find how expensive it was, and then relieved that she'd had more than enough on her giftcard to cover it. She wondered how she could ever repay Leia for it, and decided that she'd start by learning to wear it properly.

She'd spent that entire afternoon practicing as she watched YouTube tutorials, deciding after several hours and several different looks that her skills could at least be considered passable, and the _"simple makeup look"_ wasn't so hadn't gotten the liquid liner in her eye after the third attempt, and she hadn't had to bother with contouring at all. Which was a relief, it looked incredibly intimidating.

Now, she stood under the shadow of the multi-story red brick high school with her bookbag slung over her shoulder and the mass exodus of teenagers exiting buses and cars around her, and gulped.

"Good luck kid," Luke had told her when he'd dropped her off, and she wondered how badly she'd need it. She was supposed to be meeting his nephew, Ben, under the flag pole where she was currently standing. He was _supposed_ to show her around, help her navigate the mazes of halls and rooms to show her where her homeroom class was, and maybe introduce her to his friends. But, as the first bell rang to signal it was time to get to said homeroom class, she realized he'd either forgotten, or—more than likely—had blown her off.

It was a habit of his, she'd noticed, even though she'd never met him. Luke had always invited him along to movies and bowling, hoping to get Rey around kids her own age, but Ben never once agreed to go. Luke had joked that Ben was an antisocial asshole, but Rey was beginning to think that maybe he'd been spot on about that whole _asshole_ bit.

Still, if he stood her up, or forgotten her, it wasn't a very good omen for how the rest of her year was going to go. But then, he was only one of at least six hundred other students...one of them was bound to like her, right?

She vividly remembered last years' teasing laughter, name calling, and those very poor attempts to mock her accent...

Maybe she should just resign herself to her fate and accept the pecking order, as it were, where she would always be bottom of the food chain and no amount of high-end makeup would ever change that.

"Hey, you new here?" There is suddenly a boy standing in front of her, olive skin, wavy dark hair, stubble on his chin and a friendly smile. His eyes are dark brown but bright, his disposition cheerful, and she finds his smile contagious. She returns it with one of her own.

"Ben?" She asks him, but she's very certain that whoever Ben is, this isn't him. As if to prove her right, the boys eyes widen in confusion. "Never been called _that_ before," he says with a surprised chuckle, "But no. Not Ben, Poe. Poe Dameron." He extends his hand to her, and she takes it, suddenly nervous. "I'm Rey," she replies, and then hurries to explain her previous mistake with, "I was supposed to meet Ben here, but he never turned up."

"Ben," Poe repeats, cocking an eyebrow. "What grade is he in?"

"Eleventh," Rey answers, noting that Poe seems like the type who knows everyone.

"Ah," he says, and something about his tone suggests that, yes, he _definitely_ knows Ben, " _Solo_."

"That's the one," Rey replies, adjusting her bookbag on her shoulder as they begin to walk. Luke had mentioned that Solo was his last name. "You know him?" She wonders, even if the answer is obvious. She can't claim to be a master conversationalist.

"I do," Poe confirms, "He's a..." he hesitates before settling on, "friend." Then, "What were you meeting him for?"

"He was supposed to show me around," she tells him, startled when he reaches to remove her bookbag from her shoulder and puts it over his own.

He frowns, and she can tell that none of this is making sense to him. Suddenly it occurs to her that she might be asked to explain how she knows Ben, and she isn't quite sure how to do it without giving away her orphan status, which she'd already determined she _wasn't_ going to do this year.

Of course it hadn't occurred to her that maybe Ben would. She hopes he simply just doesn't care enough to mention her to any one at all.

"Weird, he's not on the student council." A pause and then, "How do you know him, anyway?"

"I don't," Rey answers him a bit too quickly, "I'm a foreign exchange student and I'm staying with his uncle." Yes, that story works. Rey inwardly congratulates herself for thinking so quickly on her feet. It helps that she still has the English accent to back her claims, even after her many years of living in the States. "His uncle told me he'd meet me here, but I guess Ben didn't get the memo." Or, rather, Ben just didn't give a fuck.

"His loss then," Poe says with a shrug and another disarmingly handsome smile. "I could show you around," he offers, "You're probably better off with me, anyway. I doubt Solo could find his way out of a wet paper bag." Rey thinks that's a bit harsh to say about someone Poe claims is his friend, but she laughs anyway. She's not in any mood to defend Ben right now.

* * *

Poe shows her to her first class, which is incidentally the same as _his_ first class. They choose desks next to each other, and already she can tell that not only is Poe very popular with the female contingent, but just being friendly with him seems to have earned her some dirty looks from a group of girls on the other side of the classroom. Suddenly Rey feels like she's navigating a landmine, and tries to give them a friendly smile to show she means no harm, but the glares the girls are giving her become harder, and so she decides not to look in their direction again, or in Poe's.

But that only seems to encourage him to get closer to her. He moves his desk as close to hers as he can, and leans over to whisper, "That's Bazine Netal and her clique," and Rey has to force herself not to look bewildered by that name... _Bazine._ It's awful. But then there were always some people who thought that _Rey_ was a boy's name, so perhaps she shouldn't judge.

"I don't think they like me much," Rey observes, taking a notebook and pencil from her bag to avoid looking in _Bazine's_ direction.

"Can't imagine why not," Poe shrugs, "I think you're...what is it they say across the pond? The bee's knees?"

Rey giggles and Poe grins. Maybe she's made a good impression, after all.

* * *

It's not until lunchtime that she's finally introduced to Ben Solo, and he is both nothing and everything like she expected. She expected a blonde, tanned, blue eyed kid like the younger pictures of Luke she'd seen. She hadn't been expecting a lanky, pale, raven haired boy who nearly towered over his school mates and wore a scowl so cold you could hang meat from it.

She had been right that he was an asshole, though. Perhaps even to a greater degree than she'd previously imagined possible.

"Solo," Poe greets him as they approach his table. He's seated with a red haired boy and a tall blonde girl, all of them dressed in head to toe black like some sort of wannabe metal band, all of them wearing frowns and looking for all the world as if they loathe everyone, including each other.

Ben's scowl only deepens when Poe approaches, which makes Rey think that maybe the two of them aren't really friends. Seeing them together here she can't really imagine how they could be. They are polar opposites, Poe so sweet and charming, Ben so...not.

"This is Rey," Poe introduces her, holding onto his lunch tray and nodding his head in her direction. Ben doesn't look up, only shrugs and, in a voice deeper than any high schooler should have the right to possess, he says, "Good for her."

"You stood her up this morning," Poe continues, and Rey snaps her head towards him, shocked. She would rather that fact not be made public knowledge, for one, and for two, she really doesn't need him to speak up for her. Ben isn't worth the trouble. She doesn't care that he stood her up really, but the fact that Poe is making an issue of it seems to give Ben some sort of satisfaction. He smirks, folding his arms over his chest.

"I have better things to do with my time than babysit my uncle's charity cases."

There it is. Rey's eyes narrow, and if she weren't so stubbornly opposed to wasting food, she'd surely have smacked him over the head with her lunch tray by now. Instead, she can only hope Poe lets it go.

He doesn't.

 _Dammit._

"She's an exchange student, not a charity case Solo, get your head out of your ass."

"She is _not_ an exchange student," Ben shoots back, still smirking, as if he finds sharing her personal information amusing. "She's just a foster kid Skywalker's decided to take on as part of his midlife crisis or whatever."

Ben's friends laugh, looking her over as if to find something else they can judge her for. There is no lack of ammo there, she's sure. She's heard it all already, knows all too well what's coming. _Flat chested, anorexic, sporty spice, little orphan Annie..._ Perhaps Ben and his friends will be more creative, but she doesn't want to stick around to find all of her remaining dignity, she says in a voice that is surprisingly level and deceptively calm, "Fuck you, Ben."

And then she storms off to eat her lunch in the hall, next to the lockers, just like she's always done.

* * *

Her exchange with Ben in the cafeteria hadn't gone unnoticed, and in every class for the remainder of the day, she's either being told some variation of congratulations (as if no one has ever stood up to Ben Solo before) or being given some kind of condolence.

" _Sorry that your parents died."_

" _Sorry you're an orphan."_

Some of them mean well in their own misguided, twisted way, but Rey can't bring herself to feel guilty for snapping _"Piss off"_ at them, and as always, the number of people who approach her begins to dwindle down to zero.

When the bell finally rings and school is dismissed, Rey has likely made far more enemies than friends.

"Hey," says a boy who's panting slightly, having just jogged towards her from across the lawn. He's dark skinned and sort of muscular, wearing a grey t-shirt and jeans, looking like he stumbled out of a teen movie where he'd be the football team captain or the annoying jock.

He isn't though. Like Poe, he has a friendly smile and kind eyes. "It's Rey, right? I'm Finn."

She only blinks at him, trying to figure out his angle.

"I saw what happened in the cafeteria," he tells her, nervously rubbing the back of his head. Rey is expecting him to say something stupid, but instead he tells her, "I'm a foster kid, too."

"Oh," she says, and her rigid posture eases a little. She hadn't expected that. "Yeah," he says, "So if, like, you wanna sit with me at lunch tomorrow instead of in the hallway, I'd like that."

Rey smiles now, "I'd like that too," she tells him. Then, after a beat he asks, "Wanna exchange numbers? In case, y'know, you need someone to talk to? Solidarity and all that."

Rey wonders if maybe he's hitting on her, and then finds herself sort of hoping that he is. He's...adorable.

"Sure," is her chipper reply, and they exchange phones so they can add each other's contact information. When Finn returns her phone and she returns his, his hand brushes hers, and she finds it soft and warm.

"See you later, Rey," he grins at her, and she finds she quite likes his smile, too. "Yeah," she replies with one of her own, "Later."

When she gets into Luke's car, and he asks her how her day went, she can't help smiling and answering with, "Great."

* * *

Ben saw the girl at the flag pole that morning, and the moment he laid his eyes on her he knew he would definitely not be approaching her. He hadn't really ever intended to anyway, he'd only agreed to show her around to get his uncle and mother off his back.

She was in a yellow dress with her hair pulled up into three vertical buns. The morning sun was shining down on her, highlighting the tanned skin of her long legs. She looked like the perfect picture of purity and charm, alluring and beautiful in a way that was effortless. He hadn't really thought about what she'd look like, but he hadn't expected his breath to catch, or his eyes to wander down her body, or his heart to speed up.

And in Ben's limited experiences with the female gender, girls who looked like _her_ wanted nothing at all to do with guys who looked like _him_. And she especially wouldn't want to be seen with him on the first day of school, when first impressions meant everything.

Besides, he had a reputation to uphold as a callous prick, he couldn't be seen showing someone like her around. Poe would be on her before too long, anyhow. He had a gift with girls that, despite having tried to depart his wisdom on several occasions, Ben had never come close to mastering.

This girl would probably be another notch in Poe's belt by the end of term.

Or maybe Jessika Pava and her church group would get to her first, recruiting her into their religious cult which was less about being pious and more about having an excuse to be judgmental, overbearing bitches.

Whatever the case, Ben was washing his hands of it. He didn't need to get himself involved in her life, even if Luke was going to adopt her and make her a part of the family. All the more reason, really, to avoid her. She'd probably already heard all of the sordid details of his past. His stint in juvie for shop lifting, his many fights, his many attempts to run away, his out of control temper...

It'd been part of the reason he'd refused to "hang out" with her over the summer, even though his mother and Luke had both been adamant about it. He wasn't sure what she knew about him, or how that information might have shaped her opinion of him before she'd even met him. So he'd assumed that, like everyone else his age, she wouldn't like him and he'd spared himself that rejection just like he was doing now.

Which made Poe bringing her over during lunch quite irritating.

For one, he really didn't care for Dameron much at all. Their mothers were friends, and so they'd kind of been pushed into an unwilling friendship that only existed outside of school where they'd play video games together sometimes. At school, though, they ran in vastly different social circles and being seen together was a fauxpas.

But for all that he hated Dameron, he _really_ hated this moral grandstanding bullshit he was attempting, trying to defend this girl as part of his mating ritual or something. It made Ben's skin crawl.

Even the girl didn't seem to like it much, which gave Ben a rather vindictive thrill, though his mouth was doing what it did best and spilling insults about her like a poisonous gas into the air. It was easier to do if he avoided her eyes, or looking at her at all. When he was finished, he heard Hux and Phasma snickering, but couldn't bring himself to feel good about it.

" _Fuck you, Ben,"_ was her unexpected but not in the least undeserved reply, before she stormed off and he answered with a dismissive wave of his hand and a casual, "Maybe later, sweetheart," that belied the guilt settling in his stomach. He hoped she hadn't heard it.

* * *

He saw her again at the end of the day, talking to Finn Trooper. She looked happy, and he shouldn't have felt that pinch of jealousy over it. _Of course_ other dudes had eyes and could see she was attractive, even ones like Finn, who were rumored to be gay. And _of course_ they had the necessary looks and charms to make her smile like that. He watched them exchange phones, and then turned towards where his car was parked in the student lot, pulling his keys from his pocket. Soon, he'd probably be hearing from his uncle who'd demand an explanation about why he'd treated Rey so poorly...

Or maybe not.

After coming home to an—unsurprisingly—empty house and a note from his mother explaining that she'd be working late and to heat himself a frozen dinner, he'd spent the rest of the afternoon and evening playing on his xbox.

A call from his uncle never came, which meant that either he was used to being disappointed in Ben by now, or Rey hadn't shared the details of their interaction. Perhaps he was making a bigger deal out of it than he really needed to. Perhaps it hadn't bothered her as much as he thought, perhaps he was so unmemorable and unimportant that she'd forgotten about him altogether. He couldn't tell if that made him feel better or worse.


	2. Chapter 2

The second day of school found Rey less nervous than the first. Yes, her first day had been a disaster, but meeting Finn had made it bearable, and then they'd spent two hours talking on the phone when she'd gotten home. Rey had been happy to discover that he was very sweet, as well as reassuring.

He had told her about his first year at their school, how everyone had treated him nearly the same as they'd treated her when they'd found out that he was an orphan. He told her that he'd been seen as some sort of pitiful, lesser being. But that within a few days, one of his classmates had done something scandalous (like getting caught stealing the test answers from the teachers filing cabinet) and everyone had all but forgotten Finn and where he came from.

He also mentioned that he wanted to introduce her to his friend, Rose, who had stuck by him through it all. He'd told her that having moral support had really helped him in those early days, and that he and Rose would be happy to be there for Rey, too.

It was the first time anyone her age had ever offered her support like that. Sure, she'd had some fellow students in her other schools who'd offered to walk her to classes and things, but it was done out of pity. No one had ever willingly stuck by her, there had always been a sort of unspoken taboo about befriending the poor, quiet outcasts. As if unpopularity were contagious.

Rey never understood it, and she didn't think she ever would. She'd always found it hard to relate to her own age group, having had to grow up at an accelerated rate. She didn't think she were more mature, per se, but she was certainly less cynical, less expectant.

But if this school year was bringing with it the promise of _real_ friends, it was already better than any of the others. She decided to be grateful for that, rather than spending her time trying to uncover the mysterious inner workings of the average teenage mind.

Finn suggested that they meet under the flag pole the next morning before school, and so Rey found herself patiently waiting underneath it again, for the second day in a row.

Only this time, Finn proved to be more a man of his word than Ben had, and he showed up, along with his friend.

Rose was a short girl, with her black hair tied back in a pony tail, bangs trimmed and styled to lay over her forehead. She wore skinny jeans and a loose blue shirt, and smiled brightly at Rey with a sparkle in her dark brown eyes. She was cute in every sense of the word, and Rey found her immediately likable.

"I'm Rose," she said, introducing herself, and Rey returned the introduction with her own as they shook hands. "I heard that you told off Ben Solo," Rose smirked, "Well, actually I heard that you punched him in the dick, but Finn said that wasn't true. It's crazy how gossip spreads around here."

"Yeah," Rey agreed, but then couldn't help her amused snort, "Although I wish I'd done that."

Rose smiled, "Don't we all."

"Speak of the devil," Finn muttered, as Ben and his sour looking friends from yesterday approached them. Ben stayed a few feet behind, taking a long drag from a cigarette.

"Hey Phas," the red haired one said to the tall blonde girl, as they got within ear shot, "How do you make an orphans hands bleed?"

Rey narrowed her eyes at them, hands clenched in tight fists at her sides.

"I don't know Hux," _'Phas'_ replied, a smug smile on her face, "How?"

"You tell them to clap until their parents come home."

"You fucking _moron,"_ Rey was surprised to find that the comment hadn't come from her, or Finn, or even Rose...

It had come from Ben.

She watched him bring his hand up to thwap Hux hard in the back of the head with it, causing the red head to hiss; "Ow! What the fuck was that for?"

"That stupid fucking joke," Ben answered from around the cigarette dangling between the corner of his lips. They were soft looking lips, full and pretty...lips that did _not_ belong on the face of this utter prick.

For a moment though, Rey had thought that maybe, just _maybe,_ there had been a flicker of good in Ben. But it went up like the smoke from his cigarette when he said; "Jesus Hux, you can do better than _that_."

Rey shook her head. She hadn't told Luke about Ben yesterday. She wasn't a coward and didn't need to tattle or hide behind him. Ben wasn't even the worse bully she'd ever come across, he was just the least expected one. Luke bragged about his family all of the time, especially Ben's parents. How could they have possibly raised such a jerk?

Rey ripped the cigarette from his lips, tossed it on the ground and stomped on it. Then, feeling rather vindictive, she drew herself to her tallest height, put her chin up and met his eyes, prepared to tell him just how much of a piece of shit he was. He was still a head taller than her, but what she found in his eyes was far more intimidating than his height. He looked...sad, almost as if he were silently pleading with her.

It might have been all in her head, but she deflated all the same and backed down with a simple, "Come on, let's go," to her friends. She didn't want to stick around and hear if Hux _could_ tell a better joke or not, and she definitely didn't want to look at Ben Solo anymore.

* * *

In her homeroom class, Poe took the desk next to her again, offering her one of his charming smiles. "I'm really sorry about yesterday," he told her, handing her a small yellow flower he must have pulled from one of the bushes outside. It made Rey feel rather fuzzy inside, and she put it behind her ear.

"It's okay," she told him with a small smile that faded the moment she felt Bazine's hard gaze on her. "It wasn't your fault."

"No," Poe agreed, "But I shouldn't have dragged you to his table. I just...I wanted to talk to him, you know? He's..."

"A tool?" Rey finished for him, and Poe let out an amused laugh.

"Well he certainly is that," he agreed, "But he's also not as much of an asshole as he pretends to be."

Rey considered that, remembering the pleading look he'd worn in those deep dark eyes. They were soft puppy eyes, and like everything else on his face, they shouldn't belong to someone so cold.

"Anyone who pretends to be an asshole is still an asshole," Rey pointed out. "Who would _want_ to pretend to be as loathsome as he is?"

Poe shrugged, opened his mouth to say something but then shut it again.

"He is an asshole," he conceded fairly, "But there is more to it than that."

Whatever that was, though, Rey didn't get to find out. The bell rang, and Poe fell silent.

* * *

In her third class of the day, Rey was approached by a girl who introduced herself as Jessika Pava. She had almond shaped eyes, long brown hair and a very cheerful voice that was so at odds with the awful words she was speaking.

"I saw you with Finn Trooper this morning," the girl was saying. "I just thought you should know that he is a homosexual, and while God encourages us to love everyone, we should not associate with the sexually immoral. You believe in God, don't you Rey?"

"I..." Rey stammered, utterly confused by this non sequitur. "What?"

"Didn't they teach you about the bible in the orphanage? Oh, of course not, they don't teach about it anywhere any more, do they?" The girl shook her head, letting out a long-suffering sigh.

Rey wanted to correct her and tell her that yes, in fact, she had heard of the bible and God, and while she _did_ believe in the latter (though certainly not to the extreme this girl did), she couldn't fathom what any of it had to do with Finn, or why this girl was so concerned about him being...gay, of all things.

Was he gay? He'd never mentioned it.

"No matter," Jessika said, reaching into her bag to hand Rey a bright pink flyer. "Come see us some time and hear the good news." She smiled brightly, but it looked fake, forced. And then the girl bustled off with a, "Jesus loves you, Rey."

Rey looked at the brightly colored flyer in her hand, taking in the image of a cross and a dove. It read: "Cross Your Heart Club: Encouraging students to love God and His Word. Meetings every Monday and Thursday at 8am in the gazebo. Refreshments _not_ provided."

Well. At least Rey knew where she _wouldn't_ be spending her Monday and Thursday mornings.

* * *

Ben had been untangling his earphones, preparing to stuff them in his ears and lose himself in music for a while when he heard Hux say, "Well if it isn't Fucklefairy Finn and that stray rat your uncle found."

He didn't need to follow Hux's eyes to know who he was talking about, but he did anyway, and his stomach sank.

Rey was there, as beautiful as yesterday. She wore her hair in three buns again, but today she'd opted for jeans and a black tank top that left more of her tan—and freckled he noticed, and _dammit_ now he couldn't _stop_ noticing—skin exposed.

Hux and Phasma were walking purposely towards her and her friends, like cats who found the canary.

 _Fuck._

He really had hoped not to have to interact with her again, had hoped that they could avoid each other. Now he had no idea what to do.

For her part, Rey didn't look or act cornered when Hux and Phasma approached, which was good. They were like wolves and any show of weakness would make them pounce. But Hux, of course, had no chill. He went right for the jugular with his twisted idea of a _joke_ , and Ben couldn't help it, he was suddenly seeing red.

"You fucking _moron."_ The words left his mouth before he had time to consider them, and then the back of his hand was connecting rather forcefully with the back of Hux's head. Alarms began going off in his brain. He wasn't supposed to be taking up for Rey or her friends, he was supposed to be faking a laugh like Phasma was.

 _Get it together, Solo._

He improvised, claiming his reaction was due to Hux's poor joke telling, rather than admitting that he just didn't like Hux talking to Rey like that.

It would make him the biggest hypocrite ever, as yesterday it was _him_ making lame jokes about Rey. He couldn't really tell what had changed. Over the course of his years in high school he'd managed to either offend, hurt, or fight with nearly all of his classmates, and he never really had a guilty conscience about any of it. His own misery since elementary school had made him indifferent to anyone else.

Until Rey.

He didn't know what it was about her. It wasn't like she was the first pretty girl he'd ever seen, but she had a certain magnetism, some sort of pull he couldn't resist. Her wide toothy smile and bright hazel eyes were captivating. She was covered in freckles and Ben didn't even know that he _liked_ freckles until he'd seen them on her. She wasn't built like the girls in movies or TV, but it didn't matter, it didn't leave her lacking. If anything it made her more natural, more _real._ And beyond her looks there was something about her feisty personality, her strong independence that was attractive and...well.

It hooked Ben like a fish on a line.

He liked her.

He didn't want to, but he did. Even as she pulled his cigarette from his mouth and stomped on it, even as she drew herself up to look him in the eye. He couldn't be angry, he couldn't even pretend, not when his eyes met hers.

Especially not when his eyes met hers.

She may as well have punched him, for all that her angry, determined look made him feel like complete _shit._ She looked ready to tell him exactly how much shit he should feel too, but he desperately hoped she wouldn't. He didn't think he could handle hearing it, not from her.

She didn't say anything, though, to his surprise and immense relief. She backed down and left with her friends, and Hux and Phasma looked at him suspiciously.

"You're going soft Solo," Phasma pointed out, "Worried what mommy will say about you picking on her?"

"No," Ben growled, pulling another cigarette from behind his ear and lighting it. "I just think she's a waste of time."

"Or you want to fuck her," Hux interjected with a smirk. When Ben didn't reply, he continued; "Can't say I blame you. She hasn't got much in the way of tits, but _that ass."_ Hux made a point of turning to look at _that ass,_ then added, with a whistle, " _Goddamn_."

Ben could feel his temper flare, like a flame sparking to life. The anger was bright and fiery and _hot._ He wanted to grab Hux and shove his face into the wall. Repeatedly.

Instead he took a long pull from his cigarette, staring down at Hux impassively. Hux stared back, as if he knew they were in a silent stand-off, as if he'd challenged Ben on purpose to get a reaction. Ben knew that giving him one would be playing straight into the ginger's hands. If he showed _any_ interest in Rey whatsoever, Hux and Phasma would go after her all the harder. It was how they were, how they all were. Spiteful, vindictive, insufferable assholes. Even to each other.

They weren't friends, there was no camaraderie there, no love lost. They were only bitter, broken kids who'd suffered the same bullying and abuse they dished out now. At some point they'd gotten tired of being teased and having their asses kicked every day, and they'd realized that being cruel was the only way to be left alone.

Ben stepped closer to Hux, moving into his personal space and towering over him. He took a drag from his cigarette and blew the smoke into his stupid face. "I don't want to _fuck her,"_ he told him coldly, "I just want her to _fuck off._ And you can fuck off too, shit dick."

The bell rang and Ben put his cigarette out on the wall right next to Hux's head, resisting a notably strong urge to stab it between his eyes.

* * *

At lunch, Rey sat with Finn and the other girl he was always seen with, the one their classmates referred to as his "beard." Poe was there too, hovering around Rey like a horny, incessant fly. They were laughing about something, and Ben realized that, like everything else about Rey, her laugh was bottled sunshine, warm and pleasant.

Poe caught him looking and frowned slightly, and Ben jerked his eyes away with a frown of his own. A moment later, his cellphone buzzed in his pocket.

Technically, students weren't supposed to use their phones during school hours, but Ben was never one to follow rules. He pulled it from his pocket and held it under the table, unlocking the screen to read his notifications.

He glanced back over his shoulder when he saw that it was a text from Poe.

"Do you like her?"

"Your mom? 10/10 would bang."

"Fuck you, Solo. I was asking about Rey."

Ben's heart leapt into his throat, and he tried not to take too long writing his reply. Poe surely must have noticed that the three bouncing dots that signaled he was typing kept starting and stopping as he worked out what to say. Finally, he settled for, "No."

"Is that why you were making the heart eyes at her just now?"

Ben scowled at his phone, and then furiously typed, "I was _not_ making heart eyes at her."

Poe's reply was instant, an emoji with heart eyes and "-You."

"You're a dick, Dameron."

"And you're a coward, Solo."

Ben glared over his shoulder at Poe, and then sent, "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"Ditch your loser friends and come sit with us."

"Fuck off."

His phone buzzed again but he switched airplane mode on and pocketed it, wishing he could switch his emotions off and on just as easily. He'd have liked to do exactly what Poe suggested, but he was far too familiar with the sting of rejection to brave something like that. Poe might accept him but the others wouldn't, and he'd been burnt too many times before.

It wasn't a lesson that needed revisiting.

* * *

Later, when he got home, he finally read the text Poe had sent him.

"It's time for you to grow up. Or grow a pair. Quit acting like a little emo bitch. I won't date her. You should try, though."

He snorted and typed back, "I don't remember asking for your opinion, but I do remember telling you to fuck off."

"Fine," Poe wrote back ten minutes later, "Carry on being a miserable shit for the rest of your life then, you stubborn asshole."

The only reply Ben had to that was, "Will do."

As if there had ever been a choice.


	3. Chapter 3

"How do you like school so far, Rey?" Luke asks her from the driver's seat of his car. Rey watches the trees and houses passing outside of her window, the early morning light wrapping everything in a gentle, yellow glow. It used to be her favorite part of the day, but ever since school began it just feels like the calm before the storm.

"It's okay, I guess." She answers him, shrugging one shoulder. She doesn't feel quite as indifferent as she's behaving, though. School sucks, really, but, "I made some friends."

"Good. Friends are important," Luke tells her sagely, "They'll keep you sane. I'm telling you kid, if it hadn't been for Han and Leia, I'd never have made it out of high school alive."

Rey tilts her head at that, fixing Luke with a curious look, "How come?"

"Kids are...well, they're shitheads aren't they?"

Rey laughs a little, noticing that it makes Luke smile when she does.

"And here I thought you liked me," she tells him jokingly.

"Are you kidding? You're magnificent." Rey grins, "Really, you're a good kid, Rey. You've got a good head...It's my naughty nephew I worry about."

 _Oh_. That wipes the smile from her face instantly.

"He's..." Rey starts. A bastard? An unrepentant dick? An absolute fuck-wit? "Not so bad."

"You're a really bad liar Rey, I think we're related."

Rey shakes her head at him, amused.

"I know he's not winning any popularity contests," Luke admits, "The general consensus seems to be- based on his _many_ parent-teacher conferences- that he's a bully."

He pauses, maybe waiting to see if Rey will agree with him or defend Ben. She does neither, so he continues, "He doesn't treat you badly, does he?"

"No," the answer is instantaneous, but the last thing she needs is for Luke to find out the truth and for Ben to think she tattled. Rey doesn't want to give him the satisfaction of thinking he's intimidating enough for her to do that. "He doesn't treat me badly," she assures Luke, and then offers a truth, "We don't really talk much, though. We hang out with different people."

"Well, that's his loss," Luke tells her, though he doesn't quite look like he's buying her lie. "Because I've seen the people he hangs out with, and I'm pretty sure they're no barrel of monkeys."

Rey snorts at that. "He does have one nice friend," she informs him, "Poe Dameron."

"Right, yeah," Luke agrees, "Dameron is a good kid. Just...don't let anyone push you around, alright Rey?"

Rey nods, wondering why he's bringing this up. "I can look after myself," she assures him.

Luke smiles at her, "Of that, I never had any doubt."

"Good," she replies, "Then my certified badass credentials are still valid."

Now it's Luke's turn to chuckle. They ride in silence for a moment before he says, "I'd like for you to finally meet my sister."

Rey nods. "Okay," she agrees. She's been waiting to be introduced to Leia since Luke became her guardian, but Leia is a very busy woman who hasn't had a free moment to spare. Apparently, her husband, Han, hasn't had one either.

Rey wonders if they ever have any time to spare for Ben.

"She's invited us to dinner tonight," Luke adds, "Ben will be there though, are you comfortable with that?"

Rey is floored by that question. Ben is his _real_ _family,_ flesh and blood, he should be asking _Ben_ what he's comfortable with. He isn't disposable like Rey, temporary or imposing. He's a permanent fixture.

"Of course," she answers, and she sounds convincing enough. She can stomach Ben for Luke's sake.

* * *

"This week we'll be studying themes of a darker nature," Rey's English teacher, Mr. Griffith, tells the class. "Puritanical ostracism, judgement, scorn, guilt, social stigmatizing...And if all of _that_ isn't tantalizing enough for you, it's also quite the saucy romance novel." He wiggles his eyebrows and earns a few chuckles.

"The story follows a woman, Hester Prynne, through puritan Boston in the early 1600's." He pauses, looking thoughtful. "I was just a young lad, then," he jokes wistfully, earning more chuckles. "Anyway, we _will_ actually be reading the book, not watching the-" He holds his fingers up and does air quotes-" _Film adaptation,_ got it? _"_

There is a general chorus of groans through the classroom, and Mr. Griffith scrawls on the chalkboard; " _Hester Prynne: American heroine or guilty adulteress?"_

"Rey, would you mind helping me pass these out?" He asks her, gesturing at the pile of books that are sitting on top of his desk. Rey nods, grabbing a stack and starts with the line of desks closest to the door. When she reaches the last one, she finds Bazine snarling at her. The girl grabs her wrist and yanks her down, so she can whisper in her ear.

"I don't know who you think you are," the girl hisses, fingers digging into Rey's wrist. "But Poe is _mine,_ and if you don't stop throwing yourself at him I swear to god, I _will_ hurt you."

"Let go of me, you abominable twat," Rey replies coolly, eyes narrowed as she snatches her wrist out of Bazines grip. Suddenly, Bazine raises her hand and arranges her face into a pout.

"Yes, Ms. Netal?" Mr. Griffith asks. Bazine looks at Rey, and then back at Mr. Griffith, her lip trembling very convincingly. "Sir, Rey just called me a twat."

* * *

Rey glares at Bazine, who is in the chair across from hers, waiting to be called into the principal's office.

Bazine is whispering fervently to Jessika Pava, who is an office aide and apparently a friend. They take turns shooting her dirty looks, as if to make it even more abundantly obvious who they are talking about.

Rey rolls her eyes, but panic has started to settle over her like a cold, creeping frost. She hasn't gotten in trouble very often, in fact she's always made It a point to avoid it at all costs, lest she give her foster families even more of a reason to be rid of her. But now, she isn't sure what to expect.

Will it be a warning? Detention?

 _Gulp._

Suspension?

The principal's door is swung open, and Rey catches the words, "I don't care who started it, just figure it out," before she spots Finn.

He's holding a napkin to his bloody nose.

"Oh my god," Rey gasps, getting up from her chair to look at him. "What happened?"

Finn glances in the direction of the boy he left the office with, the one who must have punched him. He's talking to Jessika and Bazine now, and the three of them are laughing. It makes Rey feel sick. It also makes her want to punch something too. Preferably the three of them.

"It's nothing," Finn assures her, "We just had a disagreement. What are you in for?"

"I called Bazine a twat," Rey answers, and now she can't find it in her to care about the consequences. She's quite proud of herself.

"Oh, I like you Rey," Finn tells her fondly, as he messes up her hair. She melts. "I think I'll keep you."

"You'd better," she replies, and then gestures at his swelling nose, "You should get some ice on that, you're starting to look like Squidward."

"Probably an improvement," Finn jokes, but Rey shakes her head and keeps her opinion to herself. He's so handsome, surely he already knows that.

"Kenobi, Netal, you're up," the principal calls from the door. Finn pats Rey's shoulder, "It's been nice knowing you, kid."

She laughs, but it fades when she passes through the door of the principal's office and he fixes her with a stern look.

* * *

It's detention.

She has to serve it Friday after school. Bazine has one too, for Monday morning, meaning she will have to miss her prayer meeting with the Cross Your Heart Club.

Serves her right.

"Well?" Finn asks, as she joins him at their table for lunch.

She tells him about her visit with the principal, and his face lights up with absolute glee. "We have detention together!" He informs her excitedly, punching the air.

Rose grins at them, "Jyn Erso told me that you punched Bazine in the left tit."

Rey laughs, shaking her head. "That's...oddly specific."

"So what _really_ happened?" She wants to know. Rey wonders why she isn't asking Finn about his nose. _That_ seems like a far more interesting story.

"I just called her a twat," Rey shrugs.

"Called who a twat?" Poe asks, settling onto the bench across from her.

"Bazine," she admits hesitantly, though she really doesn't want to have to tell him _why._

Poe grunts appreciatively. "You hit that nail right on the head."

"Poe used to date Bazine," Rose tells her, "It was a bad break up. She's still hung up on him."

"Oh," Rey replies, forcing herself not to look in Bazines direction. She can almost feel the girls gaze trying to burn her alive.

Poe does look at Bazine though, and then lets out a slow breath. "She threatens anyone who talks to me," he tells Rey, "She's just jealous. Don't let her get to you."

"I won't," Rey assures him. But she can feel another pair of eyes on her, and she lifts her own eyes to sneak a glance in the direction of her _other_ enemy.

Ben isn't looking at her like he's hoping she'll spontaneously combust, though.

He's looking at her like...well, she can't place that look really. It isn't disgust or hatred. It's something more like curiosity, maybe concern. But she knows that's ridiculous. Maybe it's the distance that is giving her a bad reading. If she were closer to him, she would probably see his dislike or, at the very least, his indifference towards her more easily.

Poe seems to notice too, but he doesn't say anything. Instead he just shakes his head and starts typing on his phone.

* * *

At the end of the day, Finn gives Rey a hug. She stiffens under his arms and awkwardly returns it. "Call you later," he tells her, and then he's off. Rey stands and watches him go, stunned for a moment.

No one has ever hugged her before.

When she gets into Luke's car, he hands her a green tea lemonade from Starbucks. "Your favorite, right?" He asks, and her heart swells all the more.

 _He remembered_.

"How was school?"

 _Shit._

Her warm, heady feeling pops like a balloon.

"I got a detention," she admits, focusing on her lap.

"Detention," Luke repeats, passively. "For...?"

"Calling someone a name."

Luke nods, quiet for a moment, then the corners of his mouth turn up into an amused smile.

"A name, huh? Which one?"

"A very inappropriate one," Rey tells him, not relaxing just yet.

"What did it start with?" He wonders.

"It started with her jumping to the wrong conclusion about me and a boy that she likes."

"Ah," Luke says, "But I was asking about the name. What letter did the name start with? I'd like to have a guess."

Rey looks at him imploringly, silently pleading with him to let it go, but he doesn't. He just waits.

"It started with...with a T," she answers, hesitantly. He will get angry with her when he figures it out, she is sure. She keeps her focus on her lap and prepares herself for it.

"T..." Luke repeats, "T...T...Tool? Tosser? Tallywhacker?"

Rey's eyes widen at hearing him use all of those words at once, but she shakes her head. "No, none of those."

"Wow, okay. You must have gotten creative, then. Uh...T...Troll? Twit?"

"Something like that," she tells him, nervously.

"Something like twit? Oh! Twat!"

Rey flinches at hearing him say it, but then he just chuckles and shakes his head.

"How very British of you," he tells her.

"So you aren't mad?" She wonders, and now it's Luke looking at her with surprise.

"Mad? No. No, not at all Rey. I told you to stick up for yourself, didn't I?"

"You did," she confirms, and then relaxes, laughing a little.

"And I'm sure she was behaving exactly like what you called her."

Rey nods, "You have _no_ idea."

* * *

They don't go home after school. Instead Luke drives in a different direction, and Rey remembers that they're having dinner at Ben's house tonight.

"Leia's going to love you," Luke assures her as they pull into the driveway of what looks like a fucking _castle._ She thought that Luke's house was big, elaborate, but it's dwarfed by this one.

She gasps and Luke pats her shoulder. "It's inherited," he explains, "Our parents were...well," he gestures with a sweeping motion of his hand across the spread of house and manicured lawn in front of them. "They were filthy rich."

"You don't say," Rey replies sarcastically. "What did they _do_ for a living?"

Luke grins, "They were royalty."

Rey's jaw drops and her eyes widen, "You're kidding."

"No," Luke tells her, "But the country they ruled no longer exists. It was conquered long ago." He pauses and smirks. "So don't worry, you won't end up like Anne Hathaway in The Princess Diaries."

Rey laughs, "You've seen The Princess Diaries?"

"It _might_ have been on the television late one night, and I _might_ have lost my remote control and didn't feel bothered to get up and change the channel manually."

"You liked it," she teases him, bumping him with her shoulder.

He shrugs, "Julie Andrews _is_ hot."

* * *

Ben answers the door, still wearing his school clothes and his trademark scowl. "You're early," he says flatly, then moves so they can step inside and closes the door behind them.

"I've missed you, nephew," Luke tells him, and he sounds sincere, not mocking. "How have you been?"

"Fine," Ben answers dismissively, his eyes glancing towards Rey and then skating away again. "Mom is in the kitchen."

"I'd better go check on her then, before she burns the place down."

Rey wonders if she should follow, but Luke rushes off, leaving just her and Ben and an awkward silence.

He sighs heavily, and runs a hand through his hair. It's long enough to touch his chin, and when he brushes it back Rey catches a glimpse of his ear and can see why he keeps it so long.

"Can you pretend that we get along?" He ventures after a moment, "Just for tonight, so my mom won't be on my case?"

Rey is surprised by his question, that he's spoken to her at all. She considers it, "What's in it for me?"

He shrugs. "I'll pay you," he offers.

Rey shakes her head, finding herself momentarily and unexpectedly saddened by that. He shouldn't have to pay her to pretend that she likes him. She would do it for free if he'd just be nice.

That gives her an idea.

"No," she tells him, "Just leave me and my friends alone and we have a deal."

He looks hesitant for a moment, and she finds herself glaring at him. Is it really so hard to just _not_ be a bully?

"Fine," he agrees, "But I can't promise that Hux and Phas will."

"What, you can't control your lackeys?"

He gives an annoyed huff, "Do we have a deal or not?"

Rey rolls her eyes, extending her hand, "Fine. Deal."

"Deal," he repeats, and her traitorous brain comes to a startling realization as he grips her hand with his.

His hands are _huge,_ his fingers long, soft, warm...

 _Well that's a kink I didn't know I had._

Rey drops his hand and swallows. _Stop it you idiot._

"So," she says awkwardly.

"So," Ben repeats, equally uncomfortable.

"What do you do for fun?" She wonders, "Besides kicking puppies and the like, of course."

Ben's dark eyes narrow at her, "I thought we were going to get along?"

"Right," she tells him, "Sorry. But you _do_ have fun, right?"

"I play Call of Duty," he answers flatly.

"Ah," Rey nods, "Violence, explosions, gore...makes sense."

Ben shakes his head at her and starts walking away with a grumbled; "Never mind, forget it."

It _was_ a low blow, and Rey knows it.

"Wait," she says, grabbing his arm before she can stop herself. It's not muscled like Finns. Ben is tall and long and thin, lanky even. _Gangly,_ her mind supplies. But it works, somehow, it all comes together with his large nose and mouth and puppy eyes, his scattering of moles that make...well, it's not a bad picture.

If only he weren't so difficult.

He's watching her, eyes wide, his body rigid, waiting for her to say something.

"I'm sorry," she tells him, letting go of his arm. "I am. I won't do it again."

He looks suspicious, but nods. "Okay."

* * *

Luke returns with Leia moments later, to find Ben and Rey still attempting awkward conversation. He'd asked her what _she_ did for fun, and she answered by telling him about her Bojustsu lessons.

She asked him if Phasma is a real name or a nickname, and he admitted that he didn't know.

He asked her why she has an accent, but she avoided the painful answer in favor of a vague one. "My parents were British."

He didn't pry.

Luke introduces her to Leia, who wraps her in a hug. It's her second one of the day, and she feels just as stunned as when Finn had given her one earlier.

"We're so happy to have you in the family," Leia tells her, pulling away. Rey notices that she has a beautiful smile, and deep brown eyes like Ben's. Leia's eyes are full of tears, though.

"Thank You," Rey tells her, and she can't help feeling the sting of tears in her own eyes as she stubbornly tries to blink them away.

She's _in the family._

And even if she technically isn't, Leia and Luke treat her like she is, and it means just as much.

They eat dinner together at a beautifully decorated table. There is a flower arrangement in the center, with lovely purple and pink hued blooms that smell like something sold at Bath and Body Works. Rey mentions that she loves it, and Leia generously offers to let her take it with her when she leaves.

"It will just be thrown out," Leia assures her, "I'd much rather you have it."

Rey usually struggles to accept gifts. She hasn't received many, for one, and she has no way to repay them. But she's grateful for it none the less, and smiles brightly. "Thank You," she says, and Leia grins back, "You're welcome, sweetheart."

They fall into an easy conversation after that, chatting about Luke and Leia's childhoods, how they were adopted too, and even Ben chimes in at times, with a joke or a wisecrack. Rey doesn't even have to fake a laugh, noting that he's very funny and charming when he tries to be.

But when Leia begins explaining Han's absence (he's a truck driver and is out of state for work) and that she's a district attorney who has been busy with a rather big case lately, Ben falls silent and stabs at his steak.

Leia ignores that, and instead tells Rey that she'd like to get to know her better. She asks if they can go to lunch sometime, and Rey agrees which makes Luke smile and Ben...well, he's wearing his scowl again.

Rey watches him for a moment, remembering what Poe said.

" _He's an asshole, but there is more to it than that."_

She knows that he pretends to be something he isn't, but the reason for it is only just starting to make sense to her.

It's true what they say about bullies, she's realizing. They _are_ miserable. Ben is...sad. And lonely.

Maybe it's the kindness she's been shown today that softens her, but when Luke and Leia disappear into the kitchen with the dishes they'd cleared away, Rey decides to offer Ben an olive branch.

"Ben," she says quietly, and his head snaps up from his close examination of the table cloth, as if he'd forgotten she was sitting there. "We could be real friends, you know."

"What?" His voice is barely above a whisper, he'd clearly not been expecting her to say that.

"I think this is the real you," she tells him, gesturing at him. "Who you are right now. Not who you are at school, and...The real you isn't so bad."

He frowns, still not meeting her eyes. "You've only been here for an hour, Rey. You don't know what I'm like."

"I could," she says with a shrug, "And if you prove me wrong then..." she waves her hand dismissively, "We go back to being enemies."

"I can't just go to school tomorrow and start being your friend," he points out to her, but he doesn't sound angry, just regretful. "Your other friends hate me, and Hux and Phas would torment you all the more."

"I don't care about Hux and Phas," Rey tells him firmly, "But it doesn't have to be instant. We can start small."

"What do you mean?" Ben wonders, and Rey shrugs again. "You've already agreed not to pick on me and my friends, that's a start."

"So I don't pick on you, but I don't talk to you either. Sounds like a solid friendship."

"You _could_ talk to me," Rey points out. "You're talking to me right now."

"But I can't talk to you at school," Ben reminds her, "If I did that, neither of us would have any friends left."

Rey doesn't point out that he already doesn't have any friends, not real ones at least. She also doesn't know what Finn or Rose would do if they saw her talking to Ben. She's only known them for a few days, and they seem open, accepting...but she can't speak for them, so she concedes instead. "We can talk to each other outside of school then, like you and Poe." She's sure they do that, how else does Poe know him?

"Why go through all the trouble, though?" He wonders.

"Because," Rey begins, and she decides to just drop it if he keeps arguing. She won't beg him to be her friend. "I'm...around now, y'know. And I'll maybe be around a lot more, if Luke lets me stay. Wouldn't it be easier if we got along?"

"I guess," he murmurs.

"Well if you don't want to-" Rey begins, but he stops her by holding up one of his beautiful, long hands.

"I want to," he says, and Rey grins.

"We're friends now then," she tells him, as if that settles it.

"Is this where we high five each other, or...?"

She laughs, shaking her head.

"No, but we could exchange numbers? I mean, if you want."

"Alright," he agrees, unlocking his phone and handing it to her. She does the same, and looks at his wallpaper after she's entered her contact information.

"A black 1965 Ford Mustang?" She asks when she sees the picture, incredulous.

"Yes," he says slowly, his head coming up to look at her, confused. "That's my car. Why?"

"No way!" Rey is out of her chair in seconds, "Show me."

* * *

He does, and Rey can hardly believe it.

"This is my dream car," she tells him, he's looking at her like she's grown a second head and she's looking at the car as if it's the most gorgeous thing she's ever seen.

Because it is.

"Pop the hood?" She asks, and he complies, still wearing his confused expression. She whistles when she sees what's underneath. "It's like the original," she tells him, awed. "I've never seen anything so beautiful... _wow_."

"You know about cars?" Rey waves him off but doesn't take offense, she's heard it before. Girls her age usually aren't interested in car types or parts, but girls her age probably didn't spend time working under the table for a shady mechanic either.

"A bit," she shrugs, "I used to help my other guardian fix them up." Before he can ask her any questions about that though, Luke finds them.

"There you are," he says cheerfully, carrying the flower arrangement Leia gave her. She can read his expression well enough to know that he's pleasantly surprised to find her and Ben here, together.

"Ready to get going?" Rey nods and takes one last longing look at his car. "See you later, Ben."

He smiles then, a small smile but a smile none the less. She's never seen it before and it's...endearing. "Goodnight, Rey."


	4. Chapter 4

Friday is a gloomy sort of day, grey clouds hang heavy in the sky but refuse to rain, and the sun stays stubbornly hidden behind them. Rey's good mood, however, is not dampened. She wakes to Leia's flower arrangement sitting brightly on her bedside table. It's a stark contrast to the dark sky that lies beyond the window, but a rather symbolic representation of something she hasn't felt in quite a long time; _hope_. Hope for a better school year, hope for her new friendships, and hope for a family.

Not just any family, but Luke's.

Maybe it's that hope that makes her grab her phone from her desk to message Ben.

 _How much would I have to pay you to let me drive your car some time? ;)_

She puts her phone away and gets dressed for school, putting on a pair of jean shorts and a red t-shirt. Applying make-up is a much quicker process now that she's practiced with it, and her hair goes up in its three buns as always.

When she's done she checks her phone again, and finds a text from Ben that makes her smile.

 _Keep dreaming Kenobi, that's never gonna happen._

* * *

She eats breakfast with Luke, and for the first time he mentions the "A" word that she's so desperately longed to hear.

"How do you feel about being adopted, Rey? By me?"

"I think," Rey begins, her voice cracking with emotion, "That I might like that."

"Yeah?" Luke asks, and he sounds rather close to tears himself. "I think I might like that, too."

* * *

Rey is walking on clouds when she gets to school, feeling lighter than she ever has. Her friends are waiting for her under the flag pole, and they each fix her with a curious look. "What could possibly have you so chipper this early in the morning?" Rose wants to know, yawning.

"It's just a good day is all," Rey tells her with a shrug. She doesn't want to tell them the real reason yet, part of her still so disbelieving of it. She'd rather wait until it's official, until Luke can't suddenly change his mind about it, about _her._

 _No,_ she tells herself firmly. She will not let fear and insecurities drag her down today.

"Well maybe whatever luck you're having will rub off on me," Finn tells her, and then he rubs his shoulder against hers playfully. Rey giggles and Rose smiles. Finn shrugs, "It was worth a try."

"I hope you're both feeling as cheery when you have to serve detention later," Rose says, "Speaking of, Finn, do you have a ride home? I'm going to visit my sister today, I won't be able to stick around."

"Shit, I totally forgot," Finn tells her, but Rey interjects, "I don't think Luke will mind giving you a lift. Actually," she adds, an idea occurring to her. "Maybe you could come over and hang out for a while? There's a pool."

"Orrrrr," Poe says from behind her, throwing one arm over her shoulder and the other over Finn's. She hadn't even noticed him approach. "You can all come to Sabines party tonight. She's got a pool too. And a hot tub." He wiggles his eyebrows.

"I won't be back until tomorrow," Rose tells him with a heavy sigh. Rey knows from their texting conversations that Rose's sister lives out of town, and she sometimes stays with her on the weekends.

"How about you, Rey?" Poe asks, "Finn?"

"I'll have to ask Luke," she answers him. She isn't so sure what his answer will be...He seems a bit more laid back than what she's used to with guardians, but that doesn't mean he'll approve of her going to a party where there is certain to be underage drinking and possibly drugs.

"I'll go if Rey can go," Finn adds, and Poe grins.

"Excellent, hope to see you there." He gives them both a pat on the shoulder, and then strolls off.

Rey is surprised as she watches him approach a pretty blonde girl and then lean in to kiss her.

She's not jealous, really. She'd gathered that Poe was a heartbreaker. She just hadn't realized he moved so fast.

"I guess Sabine is his new flavor of the week," Rose says, having followed Rey's gaze to Poe. "Strange...I'd expected him to at least get in your pants first."

"Me?" Rey repeats, confused.

"For sure," Rose answers, "He's been throwing all of his game at you, didn't you notice?"

"If that was _all_ of his game, he hasn't got much," Rey replies dryly, and it makes Rose laugh.

"That's probably why he _didn't_ try to make it with you," she decides, "You're out of his league."

"You're a nice girl Rose," Rey tells her, shaking her head. "I hope this means that Bazine will leave me alone now."

"She should," Rose says, then adds very solemnly, "I will bite her fucking fingers off if she doesn't."

* * *

Rey sees Ben on her way to her first class. He's there by the wall of the school, cigarette in his mouth as always. He spots her but he doesn't move or speak. He doesn't move his gaze away, either. It lingers on her and she can feel it as she moves past him and into the double doors that lead into the school.

"That was creepy," Rose whispers, linking her arm through Rey's. "Did you see him looking at you? It was like this," she tries to demonstrate. Her eyes go wide and her mouth goes slack like she's been shown a naked photo of Chris Hemsworth.

"It was not," Rey argues, but it had been intense and...unsettling. What _was_ that look about?

Rose pulls her into the bathroom so she can reapply her lip gloss in the mirror. They have five minutes before the second bell rings, and Rey is in no hurry to get to class and see Bazine.

"Just watch your back Rey," Rose warns her, "He's trouble."

"Ben?" Rey asks, and Rose corrects her with, "Solo. No one ever calls him Ben."

 _I do._

"I'm not worried about him,"Rey tells her honestly. "He's harmless."

"I wouldn't be so sure," Rose argues, "He's killed someone before. He sold his liver on the black market and he lit a state trooper on fire."

Rey can't help laughing. "Do you believe everything you hear?"

"No," Rose answers her honestly, a slight smile on her lips. "I know that most of what the other kids say is bullshit, but I've seen his temper, it's..." She trails off, then mimics an explosion with her hands. "So maybe bring your bo staff around to the next family dinner."

Rey wants to tell her that last night's _family dinner_ had gone alright. That she and Ben had begun to shape a tentative, secret friendship. That he can be funny, sweet even, and his car is damn _sexy._

But she doesn't. Not yet.

* * *

By the time lunch rolls around, Rey's good mood has greatly suffered. For one, Bazine hadn't left her alone. She had pushed Rey in the hall after first period and hissed, _"This isn't over."_

Then, Jessika Pava had approached Rey after the next class to inform her that she was worried about the ' _poor life choices'_ Rey was making by hanging out with the ' _wrong crowd.'_

" _I won't judge you,"_ the girl had said, even though she _totally_ was. _"But there is a higher power who will."_

Rey scrunched her nose, tilted her head and asked, "Brad Pitt?"

Jessika gave her a polite smile, but her eyes flared angrily. _"Him,"_ she told Rey, pointing her finger up at the ceiling. _"And for your sake, I hope HE has a sense of humor."_

"He does,"Rey assured her as she walked away, "You're the proof."

Now, at lunch, Rey is joined by an equally downcast Finn and a seething Rose.

"What's the matter?" She wonders, as Poe joins them with Sabine.

"Hux," Finn offers by way of an explanation.

"And Phasma," Rose adds, biting off her name like it's repulsive.

Rey glances in the direction of Ben's table. His back is to her, his head is bent, his shoulders are hunched and he's got earphones in his ears. Hux and Phasma are smirking at her, and when Rey notices, Phasma waves. Rey glowers at her, and Ben turns to follow Phasma's eyes, frowning.

Rey's expression softens when their eyes meet, and so does Ben's, but then they both rush to look away from each other.

If anyone at her table noticed, they don't say anything, and Rey is eternally grateful for that.

"They're losers," Poe tells Finn and Rose. "Seriously, they aren't worth the air they breathe."

"Yeah," Sabine agrees. "They are _so_ _not_ invited to my party. I do hope you guys will be there, though."

Rey smiles, deciding Sabine isn't so bad.

Then the girl turns to Poe and they shove their tongues down each other's throats. Whatever appetite Rey might have had is gone.

* * *

Rey and Finn get assigned gym duty for detention. The gym coach, Mr. Wexley, sets them up with the cleaning supplies they will need to mop the gym floor and scrub the volley ball court, then he leaves them to it.

Finn sets to work with the broom, sweeping the gym floor while Rey picks up the garbage from the bleachers.

"Are you alright?" She asks him, he was quiet at lunch, and is sulking now.

He doesn't answer right away, but after a moment says, "No, Rey. Not really."

Rey drops her garbage bag, descending the few steps she'd climbed on the bleachers and pulls him into a hug.

"What's wrong?"

"Everything," he says, his eyes wet.

"I'm here to listen, if you'd like to talk."

He nods, and gestures for her to sit on a bench the basketball players use.

"I'm tormented," he tells her. "Every day, it's hell. I get called names and pushed around and I'm just _so_ sick of it. I'm suffocating."

Rey rubs circles on his back, concerned. "Have you tried talking to the guidance counsellor?"

"Yes," Finn says with a humorless laugh. "I'm pretty sure she doesn't care. She's a homophobe. I called her a fascist."

 _Oh._

"So the rumors are true then?" Rey asks, and Finn sighs. "Yes," he admits shakily, "I'm gay."

Rey smiles a little, thankful that he's trusting her with that. "I meant the rumors about Mrs. Gibbons being a fascist."

Finn chuckles helplessly at her then, shaking his head. "You're funny, Rey."

"I try," she says with a shrug, but she's happy getting a smile out of him.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you before. I didn't know if you'd, you know...still want to be around me."

Rey smiles sadly and bumps him with her shoulder. "I like you no matter what," she assures him, "You're my best friend."

"I am?" He wonders, "I thought Poe was."

"Poe's been a good friend," she agrees, "But not the best. Rose said he wanted in my pants."

"Yeah," Finn tells her with a snort, "He did. Not sure why he gave up."

"Must have realized it was a lost cause," Rey tells him solemnly.

"Really? You wouldn't have let him bone you?" Finn wonders, and he sounds surprised. "Not even a butterbean? Lemon squeeze? Cowbell?"

"What the fuck are you even saying?" Rey laughs and covers her ears, "It all sounds like food. You're corrupting my virginal mind!"

Finn pats her on the head. "You're too precious for this world, Rey."

* * *

Luke picks them up, bringing Rey her green tea lemonade as always. He agrees to let Finn come over, and they chat for a while on the way home. Finn tells them about his foster situation, how his guardians aren't bad but they aren't interested in a permanent arrangement either. He informs them that he wants to file for emancipation when he turns seventeen, and Luke says he can refer him to an attorney who can help. She's a friend of Leia's named Amilyn Holdo.

He has mentioned her before, Rey thinks that maybe the woman is a love interest of his, but she doesn't pry and _really_ doesn't want to consider the dynamics of whatever relationship he may have with her.

"There is a party tonight," she tells Luke hesitantly, when there is a lull in the conversation. "Poe's asked Finn and I to go."

"Okay," Luke says, and Rey waits for him to elaborate or say no, or set some rules or something, but he doesn't.

"So...is that a yes?" Rey wonders, and Luke nods.

"You're a good kid, Rey. I trust you."

"Wow. Okay," she says, surprised, but she doesn't miss the pointed warning look he gives to Finn in the rearview mirror.

* * *

"This place is like a mansion," Finn tells her, bouncing on her bed. "You're super rich."

" _Luke_ is super rich," Rey corrects. "But it is a nice place. I love living here."

"Who wouldn't?" Finn asks, then adds, "He seems like a good guy."

"He is," Rey agrees, "He's the best."

"You deserve the best," Finn says, and Rey's heart feels full.

"So do you."

They fall silent for a moment, Finns bouncing making the bed squeak and bump the wall.

"I hope Luke doesn't think we're _lemon squeezing_ in here," she jokes, and Finn gives a loud laugh.

"Oh my God, I didn't even think of that." He stops bouncing and shakes his head, "You're right. I _have_ corrupted your virgin mind."

"You fiend," she teases him.

"Wait! That gives me an idea," Finn says, and Rey's eyes widen in shock.

"I don't know what sort of idea _that_ gave you, but..."

"What if we...you know," Finn interrupts her, wiggling his eyebrows, and her face instantly reddens.

"What? No! You just told me you were gay Finn, what the hell?"

"No, no, hear me out," he tells her holding up a hand to silence her protesting, but she is pretty sure he's lost his marbles. "We don't have to do _it_ for real _,_ Rey. _"_

"You...you...you want me to have _fake sex_ with you?" She sputters, expecting him to realize how foolish it sounds, instead he just says, "Yes."

"Are you crazy?" She wonders.

"Maybe," he answers shrugging, "But think about it. If everyone thinks I'm banging you, no one will pick on me for being gay anymore."

"Why can't you just say you slept with some random made up girl?"

Finn smiles sadly at her, "Because I've done that. No one believed me."

Rey sighs, "Okay, so then why would they believe you if you said you were with me?"

"Because they'll _hear it_ ," Finn says, bouncing lightly on her bed again as if to demonstrate. "Tonight, at the party. The whole school will be there...it's perfect."

"You are a loony," Rey argues, but Finn looks so hopeful, so much like he'll break if she tells him no. She remembers his words to her in the gym and softens.

"Fine," she says, rolling her eyes in exasperation, and he lets out the breath he was holding.

"But you owe me. Big time."

* * *

Ben is sure he'll wake up on Friday to find that it was all a dream, but he doesn't.

Instead, he wakes up to a text from Rey.

 _How much would I have to pay you to let me drive your car some time? :)_

He snorts, but he can't help remembering how excited she'd gotten over his Mustang the night before.

He'd been pleasantly surprised and then admittedly very turned on.

It was _hot._

 _Keep dreaming Kenobi, that's never gonna happen._

He'd totally let her though. After last night he'd realized there was nothing he could deny her, not even his shitty third-rate friendship that she'd for some reason asked him for.

No one had ever really wanted it, and certainly no one had ever told him that he's ' _not so bad'_.

Apart from his mother of course, but he doesn't think that counts. Even _she_ doesn't seem to want to be around him most days.

Maybe this thing with Rey will turn out to be a cruel joke, or maybe after a day or two she'll realize he really isn't worth knowing and she'll come to her senses.

Until then, he decides he'll make the most of it.


	5. Chapter 5

Poe texts Rey the address to Sabine's place, and soon Luke is dropping her and Finn off in front of a very nice brick home. It isn't as big as Luke's, but that doesn't stop the party goers from packing into it like sardines.

"Have fun," Luke tells them, and Rey can't help but find it amusing that he's dropping them off here. Most kids their age do _not_ get rides from their guardians to boisterous teen parties.

"We will," she says as she waves him goodbye. He'd pulled her aside before they'd gotten into the car and had given her a taser. "Aim for the nuts," he'd told her seriously. She'd put it in her purse, but honestly felt more terrified that she'd accidentally shoot herself with it than she was with the prospect of ever having to use it.

"Ready?" Finn asks, offering his arm to her.

"I'm nervous," she admits as she takes it. It's her first ever party, and it will be her first _time_ too. Even if it's fake, she'll have to pretend it isn't. As far as anyone besides her and Finn will know, when she leaves this place tonight, she will no longer be a virgin.

She takes a steadying breath.

"We don't have to get right to it," Finn assures her. "We can get something to drink first, if you want. I'm uh-" he rubs the back of his head, "I'm nervous too."

She nods. She's never had an interest in drinking, but maybe one couldn't hurt, to calm her nerves.

"I do believe you are a bad influence on me, Finn Trooper."

He laughs. "Can't argue that. But, at least I'm fun."

* * *

The party _isn't_ fun though, not at first. When they step into Sabine's sitting room, it's like walking into a madhouse. The music is _loud,_ it's crowded, she doesn't really like most of the people here.

And then there is Sabine in their faces, taking pictures with her phone. She's very clearly drunk already.

"Do you guys want a drink? There are snacks in the kitchen and, oh! Did you bring a swim suit? Maybe Poe didn't mention it but there is a pool out back. Oh well you can just swim in the nude, that's what my parents _always_ do. They let me have a party every time I catch them getting it on back there, so I make sure to catch them a _lot._ " She pauses to hiccup and then says cheerfully, "Okay well see you around!"

"That was..." Finn starts to say as Sabine walks off.

"Epic," Rey finishes.

Then they burst into laughter.

* * *

"Rey!" Sabine calls from across the room. It's been an hour or so since their arrival, and Rey has had a drink and is feeling a bit more relaxed. She isn't sure what the drink was exactly, only that it came out of a keg and it tasted like piss. Whatever it was, she'd decided not to have anymore. One large, red plastic cup full of it had been enough.

Finn seems more relaxed too, and Rey thinks they might finally have enough liquid courage between the two of them to get this thing done.

Sabine though, at this moment, might be considered as the equivalent of a cock blocker. _If_ there were in fact a cock that needed blocking.

She's a blocker of fake cocks, Rey muses. A _'fock blocker'_ as it were. The thought makes her giggle.

Okay maybe she is a _little_ tipsy.

"Come play the Wii with us," Sabine insists, taking her arm to lead her over to the TV. There is a crowd gathered there, and a game on the screen that has choreographed dance moves for them to mirror. "This is a four-person dance routine, and we need another girl."

Rey is not interested in making a further spectacle of herself here, what she's about to do with Finn is enough. She looks at him, a silent plea for him to get her out of this.

"Actually," Finn tells Sabine, coming to the rescue and putting his arm around Rey's waist. He pulls her tight against him. "Rey and I have other plans, don't we Rey?"

"Yes!" She agrees enthusiastically, "Finn was just telling me this _really_ funny thing which was _really_ funny, and I was just wondering...Is there like a room where we could go?" She wiggles her eyebrows, "So he can finish telling me what that _really_ funny thing is?" She hopes that Sabine isn't too drunk to understand what she's hinting at. She really doesn't know how to make it more obvious.

"Oh," the girl says with a surprised grin, "Sure, yeah. You can use my room. Down the hall, third door on the right."

"Awesome," Rey tells her, relieved that she didn't have to spell it out. She jerks Finn by the shirt towards the crowded hallway.

"Have fun!" Sabine calls after them, "Condoms are in the nightstand if you need them, and put a towel down!"

When they disappear into her room, she can hear Sabine yell to the crowd, "Rey and Finn are gonna fuck!"

Well, at least they don't have to worry about their hard work going unnoticed.

* * *

"Alright," Rey says when they get into the room. She's pretty sure there is a crowd gathering outside of the door. It makes her feel a bit dirty (and a little disappointed with humanity in general) that _so many_ people are eager to listen to her and Finn having sex in here.

Or, _pretending_ to have sex in here.

"What should we do?" Rey whispers to him so that their voyeurs can't hear. Objectively, she knows what's _supposed_ to happen during the act. She's gathered enough from movies, shows and stories to know that there is generally supposed to be some kissing and touching and then some—as Sabine had eloquently put it—fucking.

None of that matters on this side of the door though, because _none_ of that will be happening. The only thing that really matters in this room is what the people outside of it _think_ is happening. And how can they convince them?

"We don't _have_ to do anything," Finn assures her. "If you aren't comfortable with this, we really don't have to do it. I won't be mad, Rey."

"I want to," she tells him honestly. She's given it some thought, and if it will help Finn keep his sanity then...what are friends for, really?

"Well, we'll just...we'll jump on the bed," he suggests in a low murmur, "And make loud noises, you know, like sex noises. Can you do those?"

Rey giggles, "I think so." How hard can it be?

"Okay," Finn says with a nervous laugh. "Ready then?"

"Ready."

* * *

If she felt dirty before, now Rey feels positively filthy.

It's easier after the first few minutes, though. At first it was very awkward, but now she finds words like _"_ _Ah!"_ and _"Oh Yes!"_ spilling out of her mouth without her cringing so much.

But it really does all sound very stupid. Heavily erotic, sure, but stupid. She has to keep pausing to stifle her giggles. Whatever real sex is like, she doubts anyone could keep a straight face (or even be turned on) if they sounded like this the whole time. She only hopes that it sounds real enough to the pervs listening at the door.

"Oh yeah! Yeah! Don't stop!" She yells, jumping on the bed and hitting the wall. It's a strange sort of fun they're having, but it _is_ fun, and Rey reckons that's what matters the most.

"Right there Finn! Don't stop!"

"I'm not gonna stop!" He yells back, jumping up and down next to her. She turns to him and lowers her voice, "Seriously though, how long does sex usually take? I'm getting tired."

"Me too," He admits, "It's been like ten minutes, I think that's long enough. Grand finale time?"

"Yeah, let's do it."

He snorts at her word choice, "Technically we already did."

"Touche."

There is a chorus of _"Ooooh!"_ and _"Ahhhh fuck!"_ and Rey throws herself down onto the mattress, panting. Outside of the door, there is cheering. She rolls her eyes.

"I can't believe they bought that," she tells Finn, shaking her head.

"We make a good team," he tells her, flopping down beside her.

"We do," she agrees. After a moment of trying to catch her breath, she rolls onto her side to face him, mischief dancing in her eyes. "Be honest, did I rock your imaginary world?"

"Hell yeah," He wears an amused smile, but he fixes her with a fond look. "I'm glad I lost my fictitious V card to you, Rey."

"Well I'm flattered," she tells him, patting his shoulder. He catches her hand and presses a kiss to it.

"Seriously," he says, and his eyes are suddenly very sincere, matching the soft tone he's using. "You're the best friend any one could ever ask for."

His words flood her with warmth. "You really mean it?"

"I really do, peanut."

She laughs at that and sits up, "Are we doing pet names now?"

"Well we did just pretend to have wild, crazy monkey sex."

"I reckon we did," she agrees, and then says happily, "Peanut...I like that. Now, go forth you utterly debauched womanizer. Let's see what they make of you now."

* * *

If this had been real sex, there might have been some sort of afterglow. Some sweet period where everything is peace and satisfaction and happiness. There might have been cuddling, and the thrill of having been _loved_ inside and out.

Instead, she and Finn open the door to face an obnoxious crowd. Nearly all of them are holding phones aloft, recording and taking pictures.

"How was it?" A boy asks Finn, throwing an arm around him and leading him away from Rey. There is a group of guys gathering around him as he moves down the hall, cheering for him, high fiving him, asking him questions.

And Rey is left just standing there alone.

Instead of being welcomed into the fold like Finn, instead of being celebrated, everyone is looking at her like she's repulsive.

She hadn't counted on that.

She can hear them whispering as she walks by, can see the rude gestures being made behind her back. To give herself something to do, she takes her phone out of her purse to text Luke that she's ready to go home. She isn't paying attention to where she is walking, and finds herself suddenly face to face with Poe Dameron.

"What was that about?" He asks her hotly, nodding his head in the direction of Sabines room.

He looks disappointed.

"Just a fling," she tells him with a shrug. He, of all people, has no right to be looking at her that way. "You know all about those, I'm sure."

"I'm just worried about you," he says with a sigh, "That seemed rather sudden and not like you at all. Are you okay?"

His concern is touching, but his supercilious attitude is _not_.

"I'm fine," she answers him, rolling her eyes. "I'm a big girl, I can make my own decisions."

"Okay," Poe tells her, putting his hands up and backing away, "I just hope you won't regret them tomorrow."

* * *

In hindsight, opening the texts when he'd seen they'd been sent by Hux had been a stupid decision. He should have known the asshole wouldn't send him anything pleasant, but he'd been rather curious as to why he was texting him at all.

The first text had simply said, _"It seems your uncles garbage rat is quite the little freak."_

If that hadn't been enough to pique his interest, the second text had been a video.

Against his better judgement, Ben had loaded it.

At first, all he could see was a door, and whoever was holding the camera was saying, "Oh shit, I can't believe they're really doing it."

The camera shook a bit when the person holding it started laughing, and then Ben could vaguely hear the _oh's_ and _ah's_ of what sounded like a porno.

Only it wasn't.

He was about to turn it off and tell Hux to stop texting him this shit, when he remembered that whatever the point of Hux sending this video was, it had something to do with Rey.

And that was when he heard her.

 _Her._

He'd like to have pretended it wasn't, that it was some other random girl from school, but there was no mistaking that accent when she said, _"_ _Oh yeah! Yeah! Don't stop!"_

Ben dropped his phone like it had burned him, stood and left the room.

* * *

He spent a few minutes in the bathroom feeling sick and trying _very_ hard to get a grip on himself, his logic and his temper both waring for the upper hand.

 _You have no right to be angry,_ he'd reminded himself. Rey wasn't his, he was only just barely her friend. She had her own life, could make her own choices, could...sleep with whoever she wanted.

He'd just thought she was different, that's all. He'd only ever seen just the one side of her. The side that got excited about his car, that offered to be his friend when he really didn't deserve it, the side that was funny and caring and kind. He didn't know what to make of this other side, just that he really didn't like it.

Of course, he'd been raised by a staunch feminist and his mother would have strong words for him about thinking differently of a girl just because she'd had sex with someone.

But it wasn't that _,_ not exactly (although he couldn't deny to himself that he was _very_ jealous). It was that she'd done it in such a public and degrading way. What had happened to her self-respect? Where was the Rey that was feisty and strong and moralistic?

And just who, the fuck, was she with in that video? What asshole was disrespecting her like that? Who took her off at a stupid fucking party to bang in some random room with people recording it outside of the door? Was she even sober? Did she even know what she was doing? Who'd let her become the object of everyone's attention? Of everyone's ridicule?

Some asshole who didn't deserve to touch her, that's who.

Some asshole who was going to get his fucking ass kicked in.

Ben hadn't watched the video long enough to make out who that asshole was, but he returned to his room, snatched up his phone (the video had mercifully stopped playing), and sent Hux three simple words; " _Who was it?"_

Moments later, he had a name.

 _Finn Trooper._

That son of a bitch.


	6. Chapter 6

Saturday morning, Rey woke to a text from Rose.

 _I saw the video, please call me._

It wasn't surprising, it wasn't even unexpected. Her arrangement with Finn had been a straight forward one. Sabines place was perfect _because_ the whole school had been there, that had been the point. They'd needed the entire student body to know, to eat it up, to spread it around, to _believe_ it. That was exactly what had happened, and it should have been relieving.

What Rey hadn't really considered was just how hard it would be to face anyone after it was over.

And not just anyone, but people that she knew, people she liked.

Her short conversation with Poe had left her feeling reprimanded somehow, chagrined, like she'd done something wrong. What had really rankled though, was that he'd been disappointed in _her,_ not Finn. It was _her_ he'd approached in the aftermath, it was _her_ decision making that he'd called into question.

Now she wondered if Rose would too. Would she be upset with Rey? Let down? Betrayed?

Would Ben? Would he tell Luke? What would Luke think?

 _God_ , she thought with a sense of panic, _what_ _ **would**_ _Luke think?_

And yet, despite it all, she could not regret her choice. She'd helped Finn, and that mattered more to her than anything else.

The rest she'd deal with as it came.

Feeling sufficiently fortified by that fact, she pulled up Rose's number and dialed.

* * *

"Rey, are you alright?" Was the first question Rose asked, followed predictably by, "What the fuck were you thinking?"

"It just sorta happened," Rey lied. She didn't like lying to Rose though, and the guilt began to eat at her the moment the words left her mouth. Still, she and Finn hadn't discussed if there were to be any exceptions to the lie they'd built. Finn hadn't said if there were any others he'd wanted to share the truth with, and so loyal to a fault as she was, Rey played her role as recently deflowered vixen.

"Drop the act, Rey," Rose snapped impatiently, "Finn told me the truth."

"Oh." Well at least that made things easier. Rey let out a relieved breath.

"So?" Rose prompted her, "Are you alright?"

Rey bit her lip and considered the question for a moment. "I'm a little pissed off," was the honest reply. "Not at Finn," she clarified, "Just that everyone is making such a _huge_ deal about it. More specifically, about my involvement _in it._ "

"I can understand that," Rose commiserated, "Which brings us to my next question, what the fuck were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that it would be an easy fix," Rey admitted. "Finn was hurting and he was desperate, and I hated seeing him that way. I wanted to do something that would help and it seemed like a quick solution."

"Oh, you and your big bleeding heart," Rose sighed. "I understand, I do. I'd probably have done the same thing, but Rey? You know it's going to be hell for you now, right?"

Rey wanted to say that it was already hell for her, before she'd even agreed to have pretend sex with Finn, but Rose's honesty burned uncomfortably. Would things _really_ be worse? Would it all blow over in a week or two? Or would it persist, and shatter any hope she'd had of making this year her best?

Again, she decided to take her solace from the fact that she'd deal with it as it came. She'd done it before, perhaps to a lesser degree, but if she could deal with the _ultimate_ rejection of being fucking _abandoned_ by her own _parents_ , she could surely handle this.

It wouldn't be an instant thing, or even an easy one. She wasn't going to delude herself into believing that. Name calling and gossip and teasing _did_ hurt, but eventually...Eventually maybe it would hurt less.

"I know," Rey tells Rose solemnly, "But I can handle it."

* * *

It's not all bad Rey reminds herself, as she joins Luke for breakfast. He's made bacon and eggs and pancakes, and he greets her with a smile and a tall glass of orange juice.

"Not hungover, I hope?" He asks her when she tucks in at the table. She shakes her head with a smile.

"Nope," she answers brightly. She might be a newly minted slut, but at least she isn't a drunk.

"Good," Luke tells her, holding up a bright yellow envelope and handing it to her. "Finn dropped this by."

"Finn?" Rey repeats confused, turning the envelope over in her hands.

"Said he was sorry he couldn't visit, something about a class at the gym." Luke waves his hand dismissively, and Rey frowns. She wants to open it, but she isn't sure if she should do it in front of Luke. She decides to wait.

"Is he your boyfriend?"

Rey snorts, shaking her head. "No. He's just a friend."

"Ah, that's a relief. Because I'm pretty sure that boy is a dyed in the wool homosexual." Rey snaps her head up, looking at him in open shock.

"Not that there is anything wrong with that," he adds, holding his hands up. "But I didn't want you to get your heart broken."

"How did you know?" She breathes, impressed. Rey had been around Finn far more than Luke had, and she hadn't caught on until he'd told her himself.

"He complimented my taste in curtains," Luke answers with a smile, "He said they were pretty. Seemed like a strange thing for a teenage boy to notice, especially when a beautiful teenage girl is in the house."

Rey laughs a little, but feels warmed by the compliment. "You have a well-functioning gaydar, then."

"What can I say? I'm a man of many talents."

* * *

Rey takes the envelope to her room, and sits on her bed as she opens it. Inside is a card that has a picture of freshly washed jeans hanging on a clothes line, the sun shining brightly in the background.

It reads: _"For my friend...You're my pocketful of sunshine."_

When she opens it, a gift card slips out into her lap, and the card begins to play a cheery song.

" _I've got a pocket, got a pocketful of sunshine. I've got a love and I know that it's all mine. Oh, oh whoa."_

"Ick," Rey says, hurriedly closing the card. "Worst song ever."

She picks up the gift card from her lap. It's a prepaid credit card, and her eyes widen in shock when she notices the amount of money Finn has put on it.

 _$200?_ She texts him, then sends another, _where did you even get $200?_

 _I had a summer job_

 _I can't accept this Finn._

 _It's the least I can do, peanut. Plz._

 _It's too much._

 _Never. You're worth all of that and more. I'll always be in your debt. Keep it. I'm not taking no for an answer._

 _Fine,_ she texts back, but she really doesn't know what to do with it. For once, she doesn't really _need_ money, she already has everything she needs and she's never been materialistic. She puts it into her wallet and decides to worry about it later.

After, she gives the brightly colored card on her bed the side eye, but can't resist the urge to flip it open and sing along to the catchy tune it plays.

She spends the rest of her weekend like that.

* * *

During the drive to school on Monday, Rey feels like the accused being taken to the guillotine for execution.

Luke seems to notice her tense silence and frowns. "Everything okay sunshine?"

He'd taken to calling her that after her weekend of driving him crazy with that song. She shrugs.

"There is a rumor about me," she decides to tell him honestly. If he is to become her adopted _Father_ at some point, maybe she should start opening up to him a little more.

Until now, she'd kept him at arm's length, worried that if he got to know her too well he'd send her packing. But he deserves to know her, _all_ of her, before it's too late for him to back out.

"From the party. That me and Finn..." her face reddens, and she shakes her head, too embarrassed to finish her sentence. "We started it, to get the bullies off of his back. Now I'm worried that we've traded places."

Luke nods, pulling off of the main road to take a scenic route. They ride in silence for a few moments, Rey worrying her bottom lip and trying to imagine what he's thinking, what he might say. They reach a cliff overlook, and Luke parks the car, facing them towards a perfect view of the city.

"People said horrible things about me in high school," he admits to her. "When people found out who my real dad was, it was brutal. He was...he was not a _good_ man. He was a murderer. To say that he was hated by the community is an understatement, and that sentiment was projected onto Leia and I."

Luke had never spoken to her of his real father before. He talked often of his adopted one, and Rey had assumed that maybe Luke had never mentioned him because he'd never known him. Now she realized, it had been because this was still a sore spot for him, still painful and raw.

"I was bitter at first. I see a lot of myself in Ben, now." He said that last as if it made him feel guilty. "But when Leia and I met Han, he was the popular kid at school. The rugged bad boy, you know the type. The one girl's fall all over themselves for, and guys try to replicate. He accepted us though, defended us, and it taught me two very important lessons." He meets her eyes now, smiling.

"One, you are whoever _you_ say you are, and no one gets to tell you otherwise. Not ever." Rey nods, focusing on the view ahead rather than continuing to look at him. She is getting tearful.

"Second," he says more gently, "A sense of humor is your greatest ally. Nothing bothers you unless you let it," he bumps her with his shoulder playfully, "So don't let it."

"It isn't easy," Rey admits, "They can be..."

"Cruel," Luke finishes with a nod. "Yes, I know. Shitheads, remember? The thing is that you aren't powerless. You're smart and strong and wonderful Rey. And about a thousand times better than they'll ever be. Hold your head up and give them the finger. If that doesn't work," he adds, a small smile playing at his lips, "I hear a bo staff up the ass is quite effective."

* * *

Rey considers Luke's advice all the way to school, and when she gets there, she feels a lot better about meeting this fallout with her humor and dignity.

But there is something wrong.

A crowd is gathered around the flag pole where she usually meets her friends, and they are chanting; _"Fight! Fight! Fight!"_

She takes off at a run, pushing through the mob. When she finally breaks through, she sees Finn, his face bloodied...and Ben, rearing back to hit him again.

"Stop it!" She shrieks, stepping in front of Ben and shoving him backwards. He stumbles and looks at her, the anger in his eyes disappearing for a moment into wide shock, before narrowing angrily on Finn again.

"No!" She yells as he tries to step around her to where Finn is. She shoves him back again. "I said stop it!" He doesn't listen. "Ben! YOU PROMISED!"

He stills.

Everyone is quiet now, looking at them.

Ben is breathing heavily, eyes staring into hers. She doesn't know what he's searching for there, but he seems to find it. He gives her a nod and backs off slowly.

"Solo," She hears the principal say, "Trooper. To my office, _now_."

* * *

Eyes and whispers follow Rey everywhere. In the hushed voices that reach her ears she can hear words like "skank," and "trollop," and "whore."

She can also hear words like, "fucked," and "Solo."

Their interaction at the flagpole this morning seemed to have sparked a fresh set of rumors, ones where Ben was a jealous lover who had been spurned by her sexcapade with Finn. There was also something about her letting him raw her in a Wendy's parking lot, or the one she'd heard in the bathroom, that she was in a polyamorous relationship with them both.

The girl telling that lie had cornered Rey to try to get her to confess to it, but Rey had only shrugged and said, "That sounds like too much work."

* * *

"Getting around now, Rey?" Jessika asks her during their class together. "Looks like you're on a downward spiral. First Poe, then Trooper, and now Solo? Talk about a downgrade, who's next? Hux?"

 _Humor,_ Rey reminds herself, _don't let her get to you._

"Actually, I was thinking of your dad." Rey shrugs, "Your mum can come too, if she's into that."

The girl's eyes flash with anger, but then she says with mock sympathy, "Oh Rey, there is no room in heaven for the sexually immoral. You're going straight to hell."

"Sounds like a vacation," Rey tells her dryly, trying to keep the anger out of her voice. "So long as you won't be there."

"Oh, don't worry _Jezebel,_ I won't."

* * *

The idea comes to Rey in English class, during their "read aloud" of _The Scarlet Letter._

Mr. Griffith calls on her to read a passage, and she clears her throat and begins, the words sticking in her brain and taking root there.

" _In a moment, however, wisely judging that one token of her shame would but poorly serve to hide another, she took the baby on her arm, and, with a burning blush, and yet a haughty smile, and a glance that would not be abashed, looked around at her townspeople and neighbors. On the breast of her gown, in fine red cloth, surrounded with an elaborate embroidery and fantastic flourishes of gold thread, appeared the letter A."_

"What do you think that passage is telling us, Rey?" Mr. Griffith asks.

"I think it means that Hester is accepting her judgement, but she isn't going to let it bring her down."

Mr. Griffith points at her with his piece of chalk and clicks his tongue, "Bingo," he says.

"Would anyone like to take a stab at guessing what the A is for?"

Bazine raises her hand and he point's his chalk at her.

"Adultress," she says smugly, fixing her eyes on Rey.

"Yes," Mr. Griffith tells her, casting a concerned look between the two them. "Hester lived in a time when the worst crime a woman could commit was adultery."

Bazine raises her hand again, and Rey wonders what sort of nonsense is going to come out of her mouth this time.

"Yes, Ms. Netal?"

"I think Hester Prynne was—excuse my language, sir—a skank."

"A skank?" Mr. Griffith repeats, nonplussed. "So you don't think she was a victim?"

"Not at all," Bazine answers. "She deserved what she got." She turns to Rey now, eyes narrowed. "Maybe _you_ should embroider an A on _your_ wardrobe."

 _Maybe I will,_ Rey thinks, rolling her eyes. Mr. Griffith sighs and steps out into the hall with Bazine to lecture her about her behavior.

While he's gone, a boy leans over to Rey.

"Hey girl," he says, in a tone he must think is sexy. "Wanna blow me in the bathroom after class?"

Rey smiles sweetly at him and then says, "I'd rather drowned myself in the toilet, thanks."

"Come on," the boy tries again, "You gave it up for Finn andSolo. I bet I have a bigger dick than they do."

"And if you want to _keep it,"_ Rey tells him, annoyed, "You'll leave me the fuck alone."

"Bitch," the boy whispers, but Mr. Griffith returns to the classroom, Bazine pouting behind him, and Rey tries to cling to Luke's words.

" _You're smart and strong and wonderful Rey. And about a thousand times better than they'll ever be."_

* * *

At lunch, Finn is holding ice to his swollen nose for the second time this week.

She spares a quick glance to Ben's table to find that he isn't there, but Hux blows her a kiss. Rey gags. It's probably for the best she doesn't feel like eating lunch today. She'd probably have just thrown it up.

"What happened this morning?" she asks Finn, she's been desperately wanting to know but doesn't trust any other sources aside from him and Rose.

"I don't know," Finn tells her, shaking his head. "He walked over to me without a word and just threw a punch."

"Just like that?" Rey asks, "For no reason?"

"He didn't give me an explanation," Finn tells her, wincing as he places the ice back on his nose. "He just greeted me with his fist and then you showed up."

"Yeah," Rose says, opening her chocolate milk. Her eyebrows are drawn together in thought. "You showed up," she repeats, "And he backed off. What was _that_ about? You told him he'd promised something? What did he promise?"

Rose doesn't seem angry, just very curious. Rey decides to share the truth.

"He promised he'd leave us alone," she tells them, "If I pretended to be his friend when we were in front of his mom and uncle."

"Oh," Rose says with a frown, but then she falls quiet. Rey can see that something is on her mind, but whatever it is, she doesn't speak it.

Poe and Sabine join them at the table, and she busies herself with her phone so she doesn't have to talk to them. Neither of them speak to her either.

She decides to send a message to Ben.

 _Where are you?_

A moment later her phone buzzes with a new notification.

 _At home._

He must have gotten suspended, she figures. That's lucky for him. He gets to avoid this place.

Still, she has a more burning question.

 _Why did you do it?_

She never receives a reply.

* * *

"Want to go shopping?" She asks Rose after school. The girl grins, "Absolutely," she says, "Where did you have in mind?"

"The mall?" Rey suggests, which makes Roses smile brighten. "I need to visit Victoria's Secret. I have a gift card I want to spend."

"Oh Rey," Rose laughs, shaking her head. "Do I even want to know?"

"People think I'm a dirty skank," she says determinedly, "So I'm going to be the dirtiest skank they've ever seen."

* * *

The pink bags full of lingerie all but scream at Luke as he greets her at the door, but he doesn't comment and she's thankful for that.

She carries the purchases to her room and dumps them on her bed, going to her desk drawer to dig out her scissors, needle and thread. She goes to her dresser next, and takes out an old red t-shirt to cut up. When she's gathered her supplies, she thumbs through the music library on her phone, pulling up a song she finds empowering and fitting for what she's about to do.

The sharp, raspy voice of Joan Jett comes through the speakers as Rey cuts and stitches and sings along; _"I don't give a damn about my bad reputation. Oh no, not me."_

When she's finished her first project, she holds it up to admire it. A scarlet red "A" stands out against the lacy black of the bodice it's been stitched on, lined with golden thread.

It's not until she's nearly finished them all that her phone alerts her to a new text.

It's from Ben.

Her heart flutters when she reads it.

 _Because you deserved better, Rey._


	7. Chapter 7

On Tuesday morning, Rey Kenobi is not fucking around.

She's gone for a sultry look with her makeup. She's proudly nailed the cat eyes tutorial. Her winged liner is on point. Her hair is down in loose, long, curls. Her new lipstick shade is as crimson red as the "A" she wears haughtily over her left breast, the emblem of the fallen woman, the social outcast, the scorned and shamed.

But Rey is no Hester Prynne. She will not bear her judgement in humble silence.

She will boldly go into the moral wilderness and wear her names proudly.

 _Whore. Slut. Trollop. Harlot. Hooker. Tramp. Wench._

Only the "A" that is stitched onto her bodice doesn't stand for _adulteress._ Not to her, at least.

It stands for _able, awesome, appreciated, accomplished, achiever, accepted._

"I am whoever I say I am," she reminds herself firmly in the mirror. "They don't get to define me."

With that mantra tapping out it's cadence in her mind, she grabs her bookbag, takes a fortifying breath, and prepares to meet Luke for her ride to school.

She is wearing a lingerie top. It covers everything, it is dress code compliant in the most basic sense (she'd checked), but it is still lingerie. The top she's chosen today is a black corset with black lacey frills that cover her breasts and a bow that ties in between them. There is a bow over each of her hips as well, and she's paired it with a pair of black leggings and tall black boots. The red A sticks out like a sore thumb from amid the dark lace, and because Rey _is_ a classy girl, she decided to accessorize it with a pearl necklace.

This may be the most work she's ever put into planning an outfit, but she's happy with the execution.

Now all that's left is facing Luke.

He says nothing until they are in the car and backing out of the drive way.

"You don't owe me an explanation," he tells her, when he notices that his silence is worrying her. "You can make your own choices, Rey. I trust you."

She's never known anyone as supportive as Luke, and why he seems to believe in her so much she doesn't know, but the gratitude she has for him is so overpowering in that moment that she nearly cries and ruins her mascara.

She needed someone to believe in her, to trust her choices and support her.

"Thank You," she tells him as they pull into the school drop off. He smiles and squeezes her hand, "Give 'em hell kid."

* * *

Ben had tried to talk himself down over the weekend, to remind himself that it was neither his business nor his concern what Rey did in her free time or who she did it with.

But it ate away at him, with every mocking text from Hux and Phasma, with every picture he saw from Sabine's facebook page.

He'd made it a point to avoid social media, unable to bring himself to give a fuck what anyone was doing on there. But Phamsa had, of course, sent him screenshots. There was one of Rey with Finn, arriving at the party with their arms linked together. And then, one where they'd left "the room," and her face was flushed and her dress was askew, but what had really stuck out to him the most was the look on her face. She was disgusted. Uncomfortable.

It had grabbed him and it wouldn't let go.

She didn't deserve that, not any of it. Maybe it'd been her decision, and maybe she'd wanted it as much as Finn had, but the things that people were saying about her, the pictures he'd seen of Finn celebrating and being congratulated after...

He really shouldn't care. He _shouldn't._ It was pointless. Caring meant _feeling,_ which led to _longing_ , which led to _wanting_ and then _hoping,_ all of which inevitably led to _pain._

But to his misery, it was already a done deal.

He liked her. He had _feelings._ He _wanted_ , but he didn't dare _hope_. At least _that_ was an edge he could pull himself back from, knowing how far down the fall was.

He didn't have much of any experience with girls, but he'd put his hopes in his parents and had them crushed often enough to understand the fallacy of it.

He really should have quit while he was ahead.

But fucking _Finn Trooper_ was waiting beside the flagpole for her on Monday, laughing and joking with his other friend, Rose.

As Ben observed him from where he usually stood in the mornings, he took a drag from his cigarette. He watched several guys walk by and give Finn the thumbs up. Some high fived him, some stopped to ask questions. Rey was nowhere to be found, and Ben decided that he'd seen enough.

He dropped his cigarette, his feet carrying him swiftly and purposely towards Finn like a gathering storm. When he got to him, he didn't even think, his fist flew of its own accord and landed with a satisfying crunch against Finn's face.

It wasn't enough, though. Ben wanted to do it again.

" _Stop it!"_ Rey shrieked, and she was suddenly in front of him, her hands shoving him backwards. He'd stumbled, surprised by her forcefulness but not thinking clearly enough to heed her words. He was single-minded in his focus, and right then his focus had been on making Finn's face unrecognizable.

He tried to step around Rey but she'd shoved him again.

" _No!"_ She'd yelled, _"I said stop it!"_

He'd barely registered what she was saying until she'd shouted; _"Ben! YOU PROMISED!"_

He froze then, the world around him coming back into sharp focus.

A crowd had gathered but was silent, and Rey's eyes were full of fire.

He'd stared at her, realizing what he'd done and what she'd asked him to do.

She cared about Finn, even now. She was defending him. She was telling him to back off.

He'd nodded and, hesitantly, he'd given her what she'd wanted.

Now, on suspension from school, stuck alone at home and stewing over his encounter with Finn, he wondered if he'd messed up irrevocably, if Rey would hold that encounter against him and if the timorous friendship they'd been attempting would crumble because of it.

She sent him a text during her lunch break.

 _Where are you?_

He raised an eyebrow at it. Had she been looking for him?

 _At home,_ he answered.

A moment later, she sent another.

 _Why did you do it?_

This one, he didn't answer right away.

What answer could he give her, really?

He'd punched her boyfriend (and dammit if that prick being her boyfriend didn't make him want to punch him _again)_. He couldn't really offer her a reason that she'd find good enough, not when she still seemed to care about Finn so much.

So he just left it and didn't answer at all.

But it stayed with him all day, her face in that picture, her words to him the other night. _"We're friends now then,"_ she'd told him, grinning.

He didn't have any healthy examples of a friendship to draw his opinions from, but he supposed that friends told each other the truth, that they looked out for each other.

So that was what he did.

 _Because you deserved better, Rey._

* * *

There is no going back now, and Rey hasn't come this far just to lose her nerve.

She steels herself, holds her head up high and walks fearlessly to the flagpole, an unapologetic smile on her face.

No one expected the social pariah to turn the tables, that much is clear, but she ignores everything. The shocked whispers, the open staring, the whistles, the cat calls, the propositions. All of it like water off of a duck's back, until Poe is standing in front of her.

"Rey," he looks irritated, but rather than say what's on his mind, he holds out his jacket for her. "Take it, please."

"No, thank you." He means well, she knows he does, but he'd ignored her yesterday. He hadn't spoken to her in their shared class, he hadn't even _looked_ at her during lunch. He doesn't get to take this moment from her. He doesn't get to show up and police her decisions again.

He shakes his head, wearing his familiar look of disappointment. "I hope you know what you're doing."

"Don't lecture me, Dameron," Rey snaps at him, annoyed. "You get around and no one gives you shit about it. But those girls you get with? The ones you dump after you get what you want? _They_ get to deal with all of this." She gestures her hand around in a long sweeping motion. It encompasses the dirty looks a few girls are giving her, the whispers of some others who are watching her and Poe with interest, the group of boys pretending to hump the air behind her back.

"So, stop being so self-righteous," she pokes him hard in the chest with her finger, realizing that it's really no surprise Bazine is such a miserable bitch. "You're only a gentleman until you get your dick wet."

His jaw drops, his eyes narrow, but he says nothing. He just stomps away, and her eyes fall on Finn and Rose, who are looking at her, wide eyed.

"I didn't think you'd really do it," Rose admits, checking out her outfit and giving her a small smile. "I admire your lady balls, Kenobi."

"Yeah," Finn agrees ruefully, "I think yours put mine to shame."

* * *

 _I can't believe you're missing this._

There is a picture text from Hux. Ben's curiosity digs at him, but he doesn't open it. He worries what he will see if he does, and how it will affect him.

 _Did you really get to hit that?_ Hux sends next.

Ben tries to ignore that too. He finds himself having very little success.

 _I think I will._

He doesn't even bother trying to ignore _that_ though, his anger sparking and then igniting, making his fingers shake as they poke at his keyboard furiously.

 _If you touch her,_ he types, _I will kill you._

He means it.

 _Relax,_ Hux sends back, _I don't want your sloppy seconds._

 _Fuck off, I didn't sleep with her._

Is that really what people are saying? He assumes it must have been because he'd punched Finn, he can only imagine the stories that had sprung from that. It makes him feel a twist of guilt.

He hadn't meant to give Rey more shit to deal with.

She hadn't replied back to his text last night, and he'd had a hard time getting to sleep worrying about it. He'd probably pissed her off more, and he hadn't meant to do that either.

 _I'm sorry,_ he types into their chat window. His finger hovers over the send button for a moment, and then he pushes it.

* * *

Rey is leaving the girls' locker room, having just changed out of her gym uniform. It'd been nice to be out of her _very_ uncomfortable bodice for a while. She's quickly learning that lingerie isn't really meant to be worn for extended periods of time, it's more of a show piece, to be seen and then quickly removed. She'd only just put it back on, and already it was digging into her skin.

"Rey?" The voice sounds hesitant, nervous.

She turns to see a pale, dark haired boy standing behind her, his eyes focused on the ground. She thinks that maybe his name is Mitaka, she's heard others call him that.

"Yeah?" She asks, judging by his nervous tone and his refusal to look at her, she can't help wondering what he's going to say.

"Please don't get mad, but...Finn told me what you did for him."

"Well," she says, smiling airily at him with a wink, resuming her act, "I can assure you it was equally as thrilling for me."

"No," the boy says, shaking his head. "He told me what you _really_ did."

Her smile falls, and she feels her temper rising. Why would he do that? They'd put so much work into this, _she'd_ been getting hell for it every day.

"I was hoping you could do the same for me?"

"No," Rey tells him flatly, turning to walk away.

"Please?" He persists, "I'll give you this."

He holds out a gift card to her and she turns to look at it, unimpressed.

"Fifty dollars for the movie theatre? That's what you think I'm worth?"

The boy shrugs, "I don't need your permission, you know."

To be such a small, skittish thing, he certainly has a lot of testicular fortitude.

" _What_ did you just say _?"_ Rey asks icily, stepping closer to him so she can glare down into his frightened little eyes.

"It's just that..." he gulps, "I could just say that we did, and people would believe it."

"You're threatening me," Rey says, disbelievingly. "I'm going to slap you so hard your teeth are going to bleed."

The boy takes a step back, "Could you do it in front of everyone?"

She rolls her eyes with a huff, "You're disgusting Mitaka."

"I know," he tells her, downcast. "That's the point, isn't it? No one looks twice at me."

Rey feels the stirrings of sympathy pulling at her heart. Curse her goddamn compassion. "Fine," she caves. He's probably going to tell everyone a story anyway, she may as well get a say in it. She snatches the gift card from his hand.

"We did _not_ sleep together," she tells him, pointing it in his face. "I let you get to second base, that's it."

"Fifty dollars for second base?" He asks incredulously, "Don't you think that's a bit steep? Can't I at least say there was some humping?"

"Humping?" Rey repeats, rolling her eyes, "What are you, a freshman?"

"Yes," he tells her with a shrug. "Are you in or not?"

"Whatever," she says, shaking her head, and he smiles. "Thanks Rey."

"You know, if you'd have just been a gentleman and asked me on a date, I might have said yes."

"Really?" Mitaka asks, perking up. "Do you want to go on a date with me?"

"Not now I don't, asshole."

The rumor that she's soliciting sex for money spreads fast and by lunchtime, she's a two-bit whore.

* * *

"Wow Rey," Rose says, shaking her head, "Just wow."

"You don't half ass anything, do you?" Finn asks, "You really just go for it. Go big or go home."

"Do anything, save to lay down and die," Rey says with a shrug. It's a quote from The Scarlett Letter that has stuck with her.

"Hear, hear!" Rose agrees, raising her carton of chocolate milk.

Rey turns to Finn, breathing a sigh through her pursed lips. "Speaking of half ass," she says, annoyed, "Why did you tell Mitaka what really happened?"

Finn ducks his head. "Sorry," he says sheepishly. "I saw him getting pushed around by Hux and Phasma, it just came up."

"And you thought it was a good idea to send him to me?" She asks, not bothering to hide her irritation.

"No," Finn says hastily, "No I didn't _send_ him to you. I just told him that it was the only reason I'm not getting my ass kicked in the hall anymore. I thought he'd come up with his own thing."

"Oh, he did," Rey assures him, "He came up with a story about how he felt me up and then humped me behind the library. Then he gave me fifty bucks."

Rose cringes, and Finn has the decency to look horrified. "I'm so sorry, Rey. I didn't know he was going to use you like that. I really didn't think it through, not any of this. I'm sorry you're getting such shit."

"I didn't think it through either," she admits, "But thanks. It is what it is, I guess."

They fall into a thoughtful silence, busying themselves with eating lunch, and Rey hears her phone buzz in her bookbag.

She reaches down to grab it, finding another text from Ben.

 _I'm sorry._

She isn't sure why he suddenly felt compelled to send that, but he shouldn't have. Maybe she'd been miffed at him at first for punching her friend, but as far as she was concerned, he owed her no remorse.

His text last night had meant a lot to her. She'd thought about it before she'd fallen asleep, and she'd been thinking of it often over the course of the day as well.

It was strange to her, that he cared about how she was treated when he'd been so rude to her before.

Strange, and oddly thrilling.

He thought he'd been _defending_ her, that Finn had treated her badly, that she _deserved better._ Only her closest friends, Rose and Finn, had expressed any sort of indignation with the way she was getting lambasted by everyone. And then there was Ben, _fighting for her,_ getting himself suspended from school for her, and then apologizing as if any of it was his fault.

She wanted to thank him, but she also owed _him_ an apology, for getting him dragged into all of this, for the horrible things people were saying about him too.

She remembered the gift card Mitaka had given her, and knew exactly what she wanted to do with it.

She sent him a reply.

 _Want to go see a movie later? My treat._

His reply was instant and she smiled.

 _Sure._

 _Okay,_ she sent back. _But we're taking your car. is 6 o'clock good for you?_

 _That works,_ he replies, _see you at 6._


	8. Chapter 8

I've noticed some formatting issues with this story that I will be trying to fix (I have no idea how ffnet works, I'm a n00b.) If you'd like to read the finished version of this story in the correct format, you can find it on a03, my pen name is the same there. If you want to keep reading the story here, please excuse the mess it's in. Hopefully I'll get it fixed soon!

* * *

Ben had expected a " _Fuck you,_ or maybe a, " _Never speak to me again."_

What he'd gotten instead had been; " _Want to go see a movie later? My treat."_

He'd blinked at it for a half second only, utterly bewildered, and then he sent his reply before his brain could catch up with what had just happened.

The catching up came after. The moment after he'd sent it, a sudden jolt of panic had gripped him, a horrible scenario taking form before his mind's eye.

What if she'd meant that text for someone else? What if she'd sent it to him accidentally?

His phone buzzes _again_ , and he's almost too apprehensive to look, but he forces himself to.

Her text doesn't say _"Sorry wrong number,"_ or some other more strongly worded dismissal. It says, " _Okay. But we're taking your car. is 6 o'clock good for you?"_

That can't be a mistake, can it? It's unlikely she'd have texted him _twice_ on accident, and she'd mentioned his car.

His brain isn't easily mollified. He still worries, still waits for the other shoe to drop.

But he makes his reply, and then he allows himself to wonder what in the nine circles of hell he's done to have gotten so lucky.

He tries not to worry about the rest, like if she'll want to bring Finn along or if she'd still managed to text the wrong number. For once, he has something to look forward to.

* * *

"May I go to the theatre tonight?" Rey asks Luke on the drive home. He'd asked her about her day, but she'd been too embarrassed to tell him she was now known as the school courtesan. Talking about her imaginary sex life with her quasi-father made her feel _very_ uncomfortable. She'd given him a vague answer, _"Could have been better, could have been worse."_ He'd seemed to get the hint and hadn't inquired further.

Now he nods his grey head at her question. "Of course," he answers, "Need a ride?"

"I have one," she bites her lower lip, wondering how her next words will be received. "Ben is picking me up at six."

Luke had been taking a sip from the coffee he'd grabbed during his usual afternoon Starbucks run. He chokes on it.

"Ben," he repeats, coughing, his eyes watery but amused. "My nephew?"

"It's not like _that,"_ Rey assures him. At least, she doesn't think it is. Had she inadvertently asked Ben on a date?

Would she really mind it so much if she had?

Girls didn't usually pay for dates, though, and she'd very specifically said it was her treat.

"We're just going as friends."

"So, you're friends now." It isn't a question, but she can see the gears working in Luke's very clever mind, now that he's gotten a handle on his choking fit. Last she'd told him, her and Ben didn't really talk much.

If he finds it strange that they are now on well enough terms to go see movies together, he doesn't let it on.

"Yes," Rey answers him, and she sees him grin, "Good," he tells her sincerely, and he looks almost relieved. "I'm glad to hear it. That boy needed a friend, and I can't imagine a better one than you."

* * *

Rey dials her look back down to wholesome when she dresses for the movies with Ben. She washes off her make-up, puts on a nice, knee length black dress, and leaves her hair down. She looks at herself in the mirror and recognizes the girl she sees now far more easily than the lingerie clad, biker babe wannabe that had been there an hour or so before.

This is who she is, the face behind the mask. She doesn't want to be anyone else tonight.

"Rey!" Luke calls from downstairs, excitedly. "There is a young man here to see you! He said something about asking for your hand in marriage!"

She groans, putting her head in her hands. She might have known he wouldn't miss the opportunity to embarrass them.

"Coming!" She yells back, slipping on her black flats and throwing her purse over her shoulder. One last look in her full-length mirror confirms that her dress isn't accidentally tucked into her panties, and that's all the encouragement she needs to be on her way.

When she arrives downstairs, Ben is very clearly annoyed with his uncle, who is very clearly unphased.

"Hi," she says awkwardly, Luke smiles at her but her eyes fall on Ben.

He's wearing all black again. A black shirt, black jeans, black leather jacket. He looks _really_ good Rey thinks. But what she likes most is that he's got a _look_ on his face, and she can't quite place it but it makes her insides do funny things, like tingle and flutter. It makes other parts of her do funny things too, like become suddenly and unwelcomely aroused.

All day people have alternated between looking at her like she's a piece of meat or a very disgusting piece of garbage.

Ben isn't looking at her like she's either of those things. He almost looks as if he adores her.

"Hi," he replies, just as awkward as she feels.

Luke says nothing, just looks between the two of them amusedly, making the awkward silence even _more_ uncomfortable.

Ben's scowl returns and Luke finally decides to have mercy on them. "Have fun you two," he says, and then, because he can't help himself he adds, "Don't do anything I would do, and _definitely_ don't do anything I _wouldn't_ do."

* * *

Ben's car is as lovely on the inside as it is on the outside. The interior is red, the finishes are chrome and for all that it's so very mesmerizing, listening to Ben talk about it is even more so.

His _voice_ is so silky and warm she thinks maybe she could listen to it all day and not tire of it, so she keeps asking him questions. Where he got the car, why he chose the car, is he sure he won't let her drive it (he laughs at that, and she decides she likes hearing _that_ too.).

By the time they reach the theatre, he's told her all about how his dad bought the car in his youth and how they had worked together to restore it. At that, he'd seemed a little sad, and Rey got the impression that Ben missed his dad a lot. He told her about the parts they'd used (she found it interesting that the engine had once been inside of an old cop car) and she'd told him about some of the repairs she'd done while living at Plutt's.

It was nice to have someone to talk to who shared her interests. Ben knew as much about cars as she did, and seemed just as interested in her stories as she'd been in his. It almost made Rey forget that she was a pretend certified tramp, until she'd pulled the gift card from her wallet to pay for the movie and was reminded of how she'd gotten it.

Ben offered to cover his own ticket but she'd refused, and then she spent the rest of it on popcorn, candy and drinks, trying not to think about Mitaka bragging to everyone about how he'd dry humped her behind the library. Or what Ben might say to that if he found out.

She wasn't sure what he thought of her now. She wasn't sure if he'd seen the video that was going around or if he'd just heard about it from someone else. Whatever the case, he'd believed it enough to be angry with Finn about it, and it made her feel a bit sick. Somehow, out of everyone she went to school with, his opinion of her suddenly mattered most.

What _did_ he think of her?

And did he know what everyone was saying about _him_? That he'd hooked up with her too?

She was going to need to talk to him about that part at least, so it wouldn't come as a shock to him when he returned to school. She'd tell him when he dropped her off, she decided. Selfishly, she just wanted to forget it about it all for now. Ben made it easy to do that.

* * *

The movie had lived up to its name _(Kick-Ass)._ Rey felt like she could relate to the main character, who also had rumors circling about him at school and took matters into his own hands. Her favorite part hadn't been the movie at all though, it'd been every single time she'd accidentally brushed Ben's hand while reaching for popcorn, or every time their shoulders had touched, or when he'd lean over to her to whisper something about the movie in her ear, and she'd felt shivers up and down her spine.

All too soon it was over, though, and now they were sitting in Luke's driveway.

"I wanted to thank you," she tells him, taking a deep breath to summon her nerve. "For what you said, and about Finn."

She can tell that he isn't sure how to respond, that he's weighing his words carefully. "Don't mention it," he says softly, and it looks like he'd like to say more, but he doesn't.

"He's not a bad guy," she assures him. She realizes then that there is really no way she can absolve Finn from Ben's opinion of him without sharing the truth, and she decides that maybe he should hear it. A few days ago she'd _never_ have trusted him with this, and maybe she shouldn't now either but, well. Finn had told Rose and Mitaka and who knows who else. She could tell Ben.

And if _he_ told, then...well, she'd cross that bridge when she got to it.

"We did a really stupid thing for a really stupid reason," she says, and she sees him swallow, turning his gaze to his lap. "But we didn't do _it_."

He frowns, his expression confused, and despite that she's now thoroughly embarrassed, she soldiers on.

"What _really_ happened in that room is far less interesting, but if I tell you, you have to swear you won't tell anyone else. _Especially_ Hux and Phas."

"I swear," he says, and he almost sounds insulted that she thinks he'd tell those two anything. "I won't tell a soul."

She holds out her pinky to him, and he looks at her, amused. "Pinky swear it," she tells him, wiggling her pinky, "It's the most solemn vow you can make."

"Yeah, if you're in Kindergarten," Ben agrees with a chuckle, but wraps his pinky finger around hers anyway. "I pinky swear it," he says, making his voice all low and serious, and with his finger touching hers, she feels the familiar shivers up her spine again. Maybe they could skip the uncomfortable conversation and just make out instead?

 _Settle down,_ she tells herself. This has to happen, and she has to face whatever his reaction will be. She isn't confident he'll still like her when it's all over.

"Okay," she says with a deep breath, "What _really_ happened was that we..." she gestures vaguely at the air, looking for the right word, "Pretended." She winces as the truth is out, lets it hang in the air a moment.

"Why?" He wonders, addled. It's a valid question.

"He was getting picked on a lot," she answers, "Because he's-" she stops herself, not wanting to give Finn's secret away. It isn't hers to tell. "Because people said he was gay." She hasn't been at that school for very long, so she doesn't know what Ben was like last year. She'd never seen him pick on Finn about being gay specifically, but she wondered if he ever had.

"He thought if we pretended everyone would leave him alone about it. And they have," she tells him, "For the most part." Now they just torment _her_.

"So, what _really_ happened in that room was just us jumping on the bed and doing a _really_ bad imitation of...well, _you know."_ He looks nearly as embarrassed as she does.

"People bought it, and now it's gotten way out of hand."

He's quiet for a moment, then as if he's trying to make sense of it all says, "So you fell on your sword for him?" He doesn't sound angry, or judging, but she's still worried that he is.

"Basically," she agrees, "But we didn't know it was going to be like that. We didn't know people were going to be so..."

"Brutal?" He finishes.

"Yeah," she says with a sigh. "It got very out of control. It still is." She laughs humorlessly, "I am..." she pauses and shakes her head. "I am getting a lot of shit."

"Notoriety never benefits the noted," Ben quotes sagely, as if he's had someone tell him that line before, "Only the notees."

"Where were you with that adage a few days ago?" Rey tells him playfully.

"I'm sorry you're getting shit Rey," he tells her, honestly. "I'm sorry I haven't been there."

She wonders what he might do if he were. "I'm dealing with it," she assures him, "But you should know that you've somehow been dragged into it, too. People are saying some very shitty things about you, and I need to apologize to you for that. I am _so_ sorry."

Ben waves his hand dismissively, "They've been saying shitty things about me for years." He tells her, "I _really_ don't care anymore."

Rey smiles a little, she's starting to feel the same way. "Is that why you don't like anyone?"

"Pretty much," he answers, tinkering with the keychain dangling from his keys, then adds softly, "I like you, though."

She feels her face redden, but her heart speeds up and she inwardly swoons. Even if he just meant it as a friend, it means a lot to her.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" He asks next. It's hard to see in the dark car, but Rey thinks that maybe his face is as red as hers.

"Just don't believe _anything_ you hear about me," she answers, "Because it's probably all bullshit."

"Even the rumor that you used to be a Spice Girl?" He asks jokingly.

"Oh no, that one's totally true," she says with a laugh, "I got thrown out over contract issues. Apparently, there were laws against letting a toddler join your girl band. Plus, they didn't make platform shoes tiny enough to fit my feet."

"That's unfortunate," he tells her with a grin, "A toddler in the band might have been an improvement."

She doesn't say anything, too busy staring at his grin. He's gorgeous when he does that.

They sit in silence for a moment, and it's a telling one, expectant and nervous. There is no reason for them to be just sitting here, staring at each other. Not unless each were hoping that something else might happen.

When it becomes clear that neither of them know how to initiate that, Rey says, "I should probably go inside."

Ben nods, but before she can get out of the car, he's leaned across to pull her into a warm hug.

Rey feels herself return it, resting her head to his shoulder. He smells like popcorn and faintly like cigarettes, but she finds she doesn't mind. She sighs and he says, "Goodnight Rey."

"Goodnight Ben," she tells him and reluctantly pulls away.

He watches her until she makes it safely inside, and then she can hear his car leaving the drive way. She's glad Luke isn't around right now, because she's wearing the stupidest, cheesiest smile ever.


	9. Chapter 9

*still working on the formatting for the other chapters. im so surprised anyone has read this far with the mess the other chapters are in, but thank you so much for the kind reviews!

* * *

When Rey goes to bed on Tuesday night, it is with thoughts of Ben in her mind. She remembers the way he looked at her when he'd picked her up for the movie, the way his eyes had flashed with surprise and then admiration, how his mouth had parted slightly and how he'd licked his pillowy lips. She wonders what they'd taste like. She likes to imagine that he wouldn't taste like cigarettes, that instead he'd taste sweet, like the cherry lollipop color of his mouth.

She thinks about his hand when hers had brushed it, and his whispers in her ear that had made her body shiver and a rush of liquid pool between her legs. _That_ sensation wasn't one she felt often, although that wasn't to say it had never happened to her at all. She was a normal teenage girl in that regard, watching Penn Badgley on Gossip Girl had definitely done _that_ to her once or twice. But she'd never felt a desire to _do_ anything about it then. Not like the one she was feeling now.

Perhaps her slutty alter ego had awakened an intense and sudden interest in sex. Or perhaps it was Ben, who was not the first boy she'd ever crushed on but was certainly the first who she'd ever thought about touching in a way that wasn't entirely chaste.

She shouldn't be romanticizing him, she knew. He was a friend and a provisional one at that, but she couldn't help it. He certainly felt like more than a provisional friend when he'd _hugged_ her, when he'd stood up for what he thought had been an injustice against her, when he'd looked at her like she was special.

And he had _never_ guilted or berated her about the party, even when he thought she really had slept with Finn. He hadn't avoided her or called her any names or treated her differently.

He had been an absolute dick when she'd first met him though, but she was beginning to understand, in an abstract sort of way, that she and Ben were a lot alike in that regard.

The more she got to know him, the more she could see that his mask at school was rooted in the same sort of hurt that hers was. It was an identity born of a want for rebelliousness and nonconformity, but it was also a shield. He hid behind his cold demeanor because he couldn't be bullied if he _was_ the bully. She hid behind her sleazy reputation because she couldn't be wounded by the things people said and believed about her if she perpetuated and encouraged them.

In the end, the basis of it was really no different than what she and Finn had done in Sabine's bedroom. They'd carved out a name for themselves, and then they'd lived up to it.

But he knew her lie now, and she knew his, and they both knew each other for who they really were.

Rey _really_ liked who Ben was.

And so, if she was thinking about him in bed as her hand slid into her panties, the core of her body aching for a release it hadn't ever known, and she fumbled clumsily in the dark to find it with her fingers, then she couldn't really help it.

And when she finally did find that swollen and needy spot between the folds of her sex and rubbed it desperately, she came for the first time imagining it was his hand and his long, smooth fingers that had brought her there.

* * *

Ben was _not_ experienced with girls. Hugging Rey had been the first time he'd ever touched one who wasn't his mother, and that feeling of having her in his arms, warm and pressed against him...yeah, that had gone right to his dick.

As did the look of her in the dress she wore, cut just low enough that he'd glimpsed the freckles she had sprinkled over her chest, and he'd wondered just how much more of her body they covered and could he kiss them all?

It'd been especially difficult to keep his eyes from wandering in the dark of the theatre, _especially_ when she'd crossed one of her long, smooth legs over the other.

It'd been harder still to wrestle the fucking boner he got over the slightest thing, like when he'd leaned over to whisper something in her ear and had caught the apple scent of her hair, which he'd never seen her wear down before, and it framed her face and made her look even more gorgeous than usual.

Or when his eyes had dropped to the curve of her neck and he'd spent an indecent amount of time thinking about how he'd like to leave a mark there with his mouth.

Or when he'd seen her bite her lower lip while she decided which candy to buy, and he thought about how he'd like to take that lip between his own teeth when he kissed her senseless.

But he hadn't done any of that because, for one, it wasn't a date and she was only a friend who'd probably slap him for it. Two, he lacked the self-assuredness that was necessary to be that bold, and three, he'd spent the entire evening under the impression that she was going out with Finn.

Or at least casually hooking up with him at parties.

Neither of which turned out to be true.

To say that he was relieved would be understating it.

It wasn't that he thought he had a chance with her or anything, rather that the confirmation of who he'd believed she was had been right all along. She wasn't _that_ kind of girl, she wouldn't give herself to anyone who _really_ treated her the way Finn had in that video. She was too headstrong and individualistic to allow herself to be pressured into something like that, and he admired that about her.

He still didn't like it that Finn had let her sacrifice her reputation to bolster his own, though. Rey told him that they didn't know what the consequences would be, but all he'd seen of Finn was someone who was enjoying a reprieve while Rey got the shit end of everything. It didn't sit well with him, but if Rey was okay with it, Ben supposed he'd have to be too.

He _had_ promised.

His mother was still not home from work when he parked his car in the garage. She worked stretches like this, where she was home a lot sometimes and others not so much. Neither of his parents' work schedules were particularly predictable, and so, far more often than he liked, Ben found himself with endless time on his hands and an infinite solitude to accompany it. It gave him a lot of time to think, and admittedly, a lot of free time to get into trouble as well.

He'd been mostly behaved lately, preferring his x-box to the prospect of juvenile again. Last year he'd gotten arrested for stealing a bottle of whiskey. It had been a very stupid idea and he'd known that when he'd done it. He hadn't even needed to steal it, he knew where his father kept his stash unguarded. But he'd _wanted_ to betray his parents, to disappoint them, _anything_ to make them notice him.

He'd even tried to run away, when his parents had actually been home long enough to notice him missing. His uncle Luke always ended up helping to hunt him down though, and Luke, having said several times that Ben reminded him of himself when he was young, seemed to always know exactly where to find him. Usually at the arcade, or the quarry or the skate park. Places he could distract himself from how rejected he felt.

His mother had decided after his fifth attempt that family therapy would be a good idea, but then she'd gotten this big case and there'd been no time for it. She tried to send him to sessions on his own, but he never went. There really wasn't a purpose to it. He knew who he was and why.

Or, at least he thought he did. Until Rey showed up.

He was always angry, always bitter, closed off and withdrawn. For his first five years of school, he'd gone to a private institution and hadn't quite fit in with the rich, stuck up bastards whose parents had the money to send them there. His family's money was dirty, the fortune of ex royals and a notorious mass murderer. For some reason, the other kids had found that very off putting, and in turn had found him very off putting too.

In middle school, he'd started going to a public school because he hadn't wanted to go back to the private one. That was where most of his days of getting the shit kicked out of him had happened. Like his father (and his uncle too, he supposed) Ben didn't know when to keep his mouth shut. He was too honest at times, cocky and _very_ smart. It was the perfect storm to becoming the mouthy nerd kid who could easily solve complicated calculus equations but couldn't throw a punch.

In eighth grade, his dad had gotten fed up with him getting pushed around and had showed him how to throw one, much to his mother's irritation. She decided that what he really needed was friends and tried to push him off onto Poe Dameron. They had absolutely nothing in common aside from playing video games and having mothers who were best friends and wanted their children to be best friends too.

Then Highschool...Highschool was a fucking hellscape.

He'd known Hux since middle school, and Hux had known Phasma but none of them had ever really been friends. They'd only just served many detentions together and made many visits to the school nurse for ice or band-aids. They'd sort of been thrown together in Highschool though, because they'd all gotten particularly cruel and obnoxious over the years. By sophomore year, Ben had his dad's smart mouth and his mother's steely nerve and used them both like a weapon, cutting down any and every one with sharp words, and then with fists if it came to that.

It had, quite a few times.

Now, no one really bothered them, but no one came near them either. Ben had preferred it that way, finding being disliked but avoided better than being disliked and sought out.

Then Rey had said; _"We could be real friends, you know."_

And, _"The real you isn't so bad."_

And he was starting to think that maybe he'd like to be _better,_ to her at least. That he'd like to spend more time being himself and less time being a dick.

Because for all of his moral policing of Finn, he'd also been guilty of treating Rey in a way she hadn't deserved. And, he realized with a pang, he hadn't even apologized for it.

* * *

On Wednesday, Rey wears pink.

A light pink corset made of silk, trimmed in black lace, the bright red "A" affixed prominently over her heart.

Rose grabs her when she gets to school and very gravely tells her, "You need to see this."

They make their way through the crowded halls to Rey's locker, where a bigger crowd is gathered. Someone has taped condoms all over it and has written "WHORE," large and bold in black sharpie.

"What's going on?" Mr. Griffith asks, and the kids start scattering like ants, clearing out of the hallway to pretend they were just innocent bystanders in all of this.

When the hall is cleared and Mr. Griffith's eyes fall on Rey's locker and then her outfit, he nods his head towards his classroom. "Let's talk, Ms. Kenobi."

Rey bites her lip and worries she's in trouble. Will she have to serve _another_ detention? Her second since school began just a little over a week ago? She almost hopes she'll be suspended, like Ben.

When she sits in a chair across from Mr. Griffiths desk, he gestures at her top and asks, "Do you think you might be taking our reading assignment a bit too seriously?"

Rey shrugs, "I was hoping to get an A," she tells him jokingly, pointing to the red letter A stitched onto her corset.

Mr. Griffith doesn't laugh at her joke.

"I'm worried about you Rey," he tells her, looking at her with a critical eye. "I've been hearing some rumors."

Rey cringes, her face reddening. "I didn't know teachers were privy to adolescent gossip."

He shrugs and rests his elbows on his desk, folding his fingers together. "Jessika Pava and Bazine Netal aren't exactly subtle."

"Right," Rey says, shoulders slumping.

"Whatever this little act is about," he pauses to gesture at her again, "I'm just concerned."

"I am attempting to understand the social stigmatizing that Hawthorne wrote about," she tells him, her tone indifferent. It is objectively true, in a sense. She doesn't want to tell him that the statement she's really trying to make is just a big _fuck you_ to her fellow classmates, but something tells her that maybe he already suspects that.

He nods, "For what it's worth, I don't believe the gossip. But, if you need someone to talk to Rey, the guidance counselor might be a good place to start."

"Thanks, but I'm good," she tells him, he looks at her for another moment and then relents. "Alright, if you say so. I'll get the cleaning staff over to handle your locker." She nods and shoulders her backpack, retreating towards the door.

"And Rey?" Mr. Griffiths asks. She stops and looks back towards his desk. "For the record, I'm sorry about sending you to the Principals office. I'll deny it if you tell anyone, but I think Bazine had that coming."

* * *

By lunch, it becomes abundantly clear that Mitaka has spread a very different rumor than the one they'd agreed on. He's told everyone that they'd gone further than second base behind the library, and he's thrown his name in now amongst Rey's many supposed ex-lovers.

It also comes as no surprise that others have cast their names in too, without even consulting her. By the end of the day she'd even gotten offers of money to do _actual_ sex favors, and not just lie about them.

She'd turned them down, of course, but it was jarring just how much—or how little in some cases—boys were willing to pay for it, rather than earn it freely on their own merits.

Rey left school feeling angry and rather confused by it. For all of the fake action she was getting, no one showed her any interest outside of being a sex object. No boy had asked her on a _real_ date or talked to her without expecting something from her...no boy, that was, except Ben.

When she gets home and flops on her bed to check her phone, she finds a text from him.

 _How did your day go?_

She smiles, feeling warm all over that he'd actually cared.

 _It sucked,_ she tells him honestly.

 _Want to talk about it?_

She's worried that he still might think negatively of her before this is over. She'd told him about Finn and the rumors about himself, but he doesn't know exactly what she'd meant when she told him that things had gotten out of hand. Now, there was even more to tell, and maybe she should give him a heads up, before he returned to school and heard it from everyone else. Everyone else would _definitely_ not give him the truth.

Not that the truth sounded any better, she was realizing.

 _Can we talk in person?_ She asks, it isn't really something she can explain through text, and talking on the phone leaves a lot of room for interruption.

When she reads his reply, she feels a wave of excitement and then a strong underlying current of sudden panic.

 _I'll be there in an hour._


	10. Chapter 10

Ben rings the doorbell and shoves his hands in his pockets, suddenly self-conscious. In his excitement to see Rey again, he'd somehow managed to sort of forget that she lives with his _uncle,_ and the man never passes up an opportunity to give him shit.

"Ah, the dark knight has returned for his princess," is Luke's amused greeting as he opens the door.

"Knock it off," Ben grumbles, face flushing.

"Well I know it isn't _me_ you've come to visit." Ben wants to tell him that he _would_ come to visit if Luke weren't such an ass all of the time, but he doesn't. It isn't true anyway. His uncle _is_ annoying, true, but Ben doesn't visit because _he himself_ is an ass, and he's been harboring a grudge towards his uncle ever since he refused to take him in. He'd asked to live with Luke every time he ran away, and every time Luke told him that he needed to stay and work things out with his parents.

His parents who were never home.

Luke had tried to explain it, that he and Ben's mother had become very invested in activism during college, that she worked hard to make improvements to a system that she believed was broken, and that she did it all for Ben's sake, so he'd have a better future.

And his father...well, his father had always been restless, either in the military or traveling, and he wasn't one who could be stationary for long periods of time. He called Ben every day, mostly on Skype, and he was home for weeks at a time on occasion, but it wasn't enough.

They didn't _have_ to work, but they did, and often. They could be spending more time with him but they weren't.

Meanwhile, Luke became a philanthropist and did volunteer work. He took in Rey and made time for her.

Ben wasn't jealous, he just wished his uncle wasn't so stubbornly set on making him stay with his parents. Or that his parents would maybe take a page out of Luke's book.

"It's good to see you Ben." His uncle sounded more sincere now, but it was fleeting as he patted Ben's shoulder and said, "She's upstairs in her room. Go get her lover boy."

Rey changes out of her school clothes into something more comfortable. Jean shorts, a plain olive-green t-shirt, and her hair pulled into a messy bun.

When Ben arrives, he knocks gently on the door to her bedroom and she lets him in.

He looks around, taking in the bare walls and minimalist decoration. She has white sheets on her bed, a blue quilt, sheer beige curtains over the windows. Luke had told her to make the space her own, but the only personal belonging in it besides her clothes and makeup, are the flowers that Leia gave her.

She hadn't wanted to personalize the space yet. Personalizing it would make her get attached, and it wasn't _hers._ At least, not until Luke adopted her, and then maybe she'd feel more comfortable adding her own flair.

Ben doesn't say anything about it, he just sits on the foot of her bed, uncertainly, like he isn't sure if he should.

It reminds her of the last time a boy sat on her bed. Finn had made himself at home, before they'd come up with their _brilliant_ plan to fictitiously bone at Sabines party.

Rey wonders why Ben isn't comfortable there, wonders if she should suggest they go somewhere else, but he seems to relax when she sits down in her desk chair and not on the bed with him.

Is he worried she might jump him?

The thought of sitting in his lap _had_ made a brief appearance in her mind before she'd shut it down with logic.

 _He's a friend,_ she reminded herself. No matter if she got herself off at night thinking about him, in the real-world Ben was _only a friend._

And he'd come here to talk, hadn't he?

"Thanks for coming," she tells him, breaking the awkward silence.

"No problem," he tells her with a shrug. He's wearing black again, forearms resting on his legs, but he is without his leather jacket today and she can see the pale skin of his arms. He reminds her of a James Dean type, the iconic bad boy, the rebel without a cause. It's sexy.

And very distracting.

"What happened?" He asks her when she hasn't said anything else for a moment, and she smiles, because at his core, Ben is a good guy too.

"Where do I even start?" She wonders, more to herself than to him, "After the rumors started, about me and Finn and then me and...y'know, you," she adds, blushing, "The stories kept getting bigger. And I couldn't deny them, not the ones about Finn at least, and no one believed me when I tried to deny the others, so I thought I'd just accept it." She scrunches her nose, realizing how it all sounds rather lame.

"We're reading a story in my English class, about a woman who was made an outcast for committing adultery. She was publicly shamed and forced to wear a red A on her clothes but she took her punishment and, in the end, everyone realized they were wrong about her and backed the fuck off."

He hasn't said anything, he's just listening, and watching her. His eyes are so expressive that she can almost see the thoughts behind them. She can see that he's worried about her, that he has a sincere interest in what she's saying. He's so intently focused on her that she feels her heart skip a beat, buoyed by his rapt attention.

"So, I've been wearing the A to school to make a statement, but it hasn't had the desired effect. Yesterday Mitaka offered me money to let him spread a rumor about me and him. I took it," she admits, regretfully, not meeting his eyes. "He was going to spread it anyway, I thought at least I could try and control the narrative, and get something out of it in return, but..." she shrugs, her eyes narrowing angrily, "He told a much different story than the one we agreed on."

Ben stiffens and sits up, "I will kick his ass for you, if you want." His tone is dangerous and completely serious.

Rey feels her breath catch in her throat, her heart picking up in an unsteady patter, thrilling at his words, at his offer to do that for her. _Again._

But, "He isn't worth it."

Ben looks like he wants to argue, but he doesn't, he just nods and waits for her to continue.

"A lot of other people are saying that I was with them too now," she tells him, "And then someone vandalized my locker, and Mr. Griffith said that even _he_ has heard the stories. And worst of all, since everyone heard from Mitaka that I do things for money now, I had some offers. Not for pretend stories but _real_ ones. Really shitty ones."

Getting all of this out has begun to stir up feelings of hurt and disgust. Not only at others, but at herself. It's made her feel raw, abraded.

"I think everyone hates me," she says quietly, "Or they see me as someone they can use. Truth is, I'm starting not to like myself very much either."

She feels herself tearing up, and wipes her eyes on her shirt sleeve. "You must think I'm very stupid for this," she says, sniffling.

His reply is immediate and entirely honest, "No. I think you're amazing."

Ben surprises even himself with his boldness, but he doesn't take it back. Instead he seems to feel unexpectedly bolstered by it, using it as a spring to propel himself into saying more absolutely crazy-but no less true-things.

"I shouldn't have fucking said that shit to you when we met, I'm sorry. But you're not stupid, Rey. You're perfect."

Watching her like this, he wonders if any of what he had said to her on the first day of school had made her feel this way. He wants to kick his own ass for it. "Anyone who doesn't think so is a fucking idiot, and all the poorer for having never known you."

Rey is crying in earnest now, tears falling freely down her face. Ben might have panicked, thinking he'd fucked up or something, but she's _smiling_ at him. "Thanks, Ben." She sounds so moved, her voice so full of gratitude, as if hearing that from him was something she'd needed. He can't imagine why, but he doesn't question her about it, instead he says something really, _really_ stupid.

"Rey, if I promise not to tell anyone, could I kiss you right now?"

To his immense surprise she doesn't yell at him to get out of her room.

She _nods_ and gets out of her chair.

To sit next to him on the bed.

He swallows, a few moments ago the thought of being this close to her, in her room, on her _bed,_ had made him timid. He'd never been in a girl's room before, and it somehow felt off limits, like it was her space and he was invading it. Not to mention the inconvenient boner that had appeared at the sight of her legs in those shorts, and if she sat near him she might notice.

But fuck, now he was going to _kiss_ her.

Thankfully, his nervousness over his inexperience with kissing keeps his anatomy from getting _too_ excited about it. He has no idea how to do what he is about to do, but he scans his eyes over Rey's face, taking in her expectant expression, her tear stained cheeks. He reaches up to cup the side of her face with his hand, brushing a tear away with his thumb. Magnetically, he slowly drifts towards her lips, finding that he couldn't pull away even if he wanted to.

He _really_ doesn't want to, though.

He wants to kiss her until she forgets every asshole they go to school with, until she knows how important she is.

His lips meet hers, just a light press at first, soft and slow, testing the sensation of it.

There is a wave of warmth that rises, it tingles and fills every corner of his body, all of his senses full of _her._ She tastes like lemonade, smells like fruit, the skin of her cheek beneath his hand is soft and warm. He wishes he could touch more of her skin, but he isn't about to be greedy, thankful for this unexpected and very much welcome opportunity to touch her, to taste her at all.

It is just a brief touch of his lips to hers, but it is possibly the most significant moment of his life. He pulls back slightly to look at her, grinning like an idiot. She is grinning too, but then she closes the space between them again, with her mouth on his.

He doesn't taste like cigarettes. He tastes like mint toothpaste and _Ben,_ but she only gets a brief sample of it before he pulls away. He grins at her, and she grins back, but she isn't done with him yet. She wants more.

His hand is still on her face, and she brings hers up to run it through his soft hair, her lips on his again. This time, it's more than just a press. Rey's kiss is more insistent, more seeking, her lips dance over his, and she parts them, running her tongue over his bottom lip, seeking entrance to his mouth. When he grants it, she caresses his tongue with hers, trying to find a rhythm.

It's a sloppy thing at first, teeth bumping, tongues uncertain, but what they lack in experience they make up for in ardency and, soon enough, they've found a balance that works, a sweet give and take that makes them melt into each other.

Rey has never felt anything more perfect than his hair as she runs her fingers through it, the electric feeling of being kissed breathless, his tongue exploring every nuance of her mouth, and hers doing the same in his.

When they finally pull apart to catch their breath, they rest their foreheads together. Ben tucks a loose strand of her hair behind her ear.

"You're so beautiful, Rey," he whispers.

In an instant, she captures his lips again.

This time, when Rey draws him back into another mind-blowing kiss, a soft groan escapes his throat. Somehow, the sound seems to inspire her, and the kiss she gives him has a little more heat, becomes a little hungrier than the last. He returns it with every bit of his own fire.

Their position becomes awkward though, and is soon uncomfortable. Rey sits up on her knees, leaning over him now, bringing both of her hands to the back of his head and burying them in his hair. Unsure of what to do with his own hands, he drops them to Rey's hips, and she throws one of her legs over his, straddling him.

 _Oh fuck._

This is teetering dangerously on the precipice between something that is just a kiss and what is something more. Already his hands are itching to pull her hips down until she is flush against him, to move her against his erection in a bid for friction. Or perhaps go higher, to palm at her breasts and feel her nipples pebble under his hands.

But he doesn't do any of those things, Rey seems to have caught on to their plight and reluctantly, yet mercifully, breaks the kiss.

For a brief moment she stares down at him, and he stares up at her, pointedly trying to ignore the fact that if he were to look down, he'd be confronted with the very appealing visual of her tits being right in his face.

"That was very nice..." she says breathlessly, moving off of him.

He'd like to protest that, bring her back and run his hands all over her body, but he smiles instead, taking in her breathless, awed expression.

"It was," he agrees.

They are silent for a moment, the sound of their heavy breathing filling the room. Ben's mind is a fog of happy bliss, but one thought pokes through the haze, and he can't help but ask her, "Can we do it again sometime?"

She grins, and he has at least enough presence of mind to feel a fresh blaze of adoration towards her.

"Definitely," she answers, which leaves only the question of when, and Ben reckons he might have a good answer.

"Can I pick you up from school tomorrow?"

Rey agrees to let Ben pick her up, and then she walks him down the stairs. Neither can wipe the smile from their faces, and she thinks she sees Luke in her periphery smiling too.

He asks Ben if he'd like to stay for dinner, but Ben mentions that his dad is home and he's going out with his family tonight.

At Ben's car she gives him a hug, and kisses his cheek. She's certain that if she kisses him again it won't be so easy to let him leave.

"See you tomorrow," she says, and he gives her an adorable crooked smile.

"Later," he tells her, and as she turns to walk back towards the house, she can almost swear she sees the curtains move, as if someone (namely Luke) had been peeking through them.

She doesn't even care.


	11. Chapter 11

It starts like the beginning of any of his very best fantasies: Rey approaches his car, wearing a bright smile and her hair down, she's happy to see him.

She's also wearing a red and black corset. It has lace ruffles and satin bows. It's lingerie.

She's wearing fucking _lingerie_.

He blinks, then blinks again. He isn't dreaming, or jerking off in the shower (although he certainly _will_ be later, he's sure) he is indeed rooted in solid reality. Rey is _really_ getting into his car, wearing _that._

And okay, it's not the skimpiest or most revealing thing ever. He could have dreamed up something that covered far less, and she is still in leggings and tall boots but _fuck_ if it isn't the sexiest thing he has ever seen in his seventeen years of life. It leaves her shoulders and the top of her chest bare, her scattering of freckles prominent, a slight hint of cleavage visible.

Then his eyes fall on the red "A" stitched over her left breast and last night's conversation with her comes flooding back into his distracted, lecherous mind.

" _I've been wearing the A to school to make a statement."_

" _I had some offers. Not for pretend stories but real ones. Really shitty ones."_

" _They see me as someone they can use."_

He tears his eyes away from her and feels gripped by shame. He will _not_ be like the little pricks at school who think of her as a sex object.

Though he is guilty, _so_ guilty of thinking of Rey in innumerable sexual ways, he also knows that she is more than that.

To him, especially, she is _so_ much more than that.

He doesn't want to make her feel any different.

"How'd it go?" He wonders, nodding towards the school as she buckles her seat belt. He can see that there are some students watching them, Hux and Phasma among them, but he doesn't care. Whatever they say, he has zero qualms whatsoever about being seen with her.

"It's been worse," she answers honestly. "I had a pretty good day. No one trashed my locker."

He frowns. "Not having your locker trashed shouldn't really be the mark of a good day."

"It was easier not to be bothered by them," she assures him, "I couldn't stop thinking about you."

She sounds diffident, unsure of whether or not she should have said it outloud.

He's warmed by her words though, and their significance isn't lost on him. She thought about _him_ and had a pretty good day because of it.

He'd thought about her a _lot_ too, nearly every second that wasn't occupied by awkward conversation with his parents.

Luke had, predictably, told them where Ben was yesterday, and so they'd had to _talk_ about things like his feelings for Rey, and his intentions, and basic concepts he was already well versed in like _respect_ and _consent_ and _choice._

Ben had already gotten the talk from his dad three years ago, but apparently the old man decided a refresher was needed so he'd had to sit red-faced through important lessons like, " _pornagraphy is not an accurate representation of what real sex is like_ _so don't expect that,"_ and, " _for the love of God son, whatever you do, don't shoot first."_

And _then,_ as if all of that wasn't utterly and eternally mortifying enough, his dad had given him a condom to put in his wallet with a pat on the back and a, _"Good luck, kid."_

But between all of that, yes, he'd thought about Rey. He'd thought about her taste and her tongue and the feel of her legs stradling his, but he'd also thought about her trouble at school, how she'd felt disgusted and angry with everyone, including herself, how completely useless he felt being stuck at home for the rest of the week, unable to help.

His mother had asked him how Rey was adjusting, but he hadn't wanted to tell her in case it wasn't what Rey wanted. He was sure Luke would, or perhaps he already had, judging by the way his mother said, _"I like that girl. She's got spunk."_

Ben had nodded his agreement, which made his mother smile and mess up his hair before asking critically, _"Where are you taking her today?"_

He hadn't really thought about it, and when he admitted as much to her she shook her head.

" _Well is it a date?"_ She wondered.

"I don't know," was his answer.

" _Did you ask her for one?"_

"No." He'd been in the stupified daze of having just had his first ever kiss. And it had been a _damn good_ kiss. He hadn't been thinking with logic. He'd been quite effectively kissed senseless.

" _So what, exactly, are you picking her up from school today for?"_

He didn't really want to admit that he'd asked Rey if he could pick her up from school so that he could kiss her again. His mother would _not_ like that, and really, what _had_ he been thinking? Whatever it was, it'd been awfully presumptuous. He was surprised that Rey had agreed to it at all.

His lack of an answer seemed to be answer enough to his mother.

" _Benjamin,"_ she said warily, pinching the bridge of her nose. _"You really need to work on your communication, son."_

"I know," he replied. He hadn't even considered asking Rey on a date, not that he didn't want to, but they weren't exactly going in the usual order of events and he'd gotten thrown off. Usually, to his very limited understanding, it seemed to be that dating came first, and then kissing. But he and Rey had done some strange sequence of fighting, and then timid talking, then a friendly trip to the movies, then kissing.

 _Making out_ , to be more precise.

" _Alright,"_ his mother said, _"I have a plan."_

"The plan"was the reason why Ben had not come to Rey empty handed. His mother had made them picnic food and given him directions to a place to take Rey and spared him from having to look like any more of an idiot than he usually did.

He had a _romantic gesture_ now and not just an offer to pick her up for more tongue wrestling.

He took her hand, smiling at her. "I couldn't stop thinking about you either."

Her fingers wove themselves through his, and they remained that way until he very reluctantly had to use both of his hands to steer the car.

* * *

School had been a zoo, as per the usual. But that wasn't to say that nothing good had come from it. In first period, Poe had gingerly moved his desk next to hers again and told her, with the air of someone who had his tail between his legs, that she was right about what she'd said to him and he was sorry.

She'd forgiven him, and he joined them again at lunch, sans Sabine, but he didn't have his usual cocky demeanor, and he seemed subdued.

She'd confronted Mitaka about his lie in the hall, loudly as to draw the attention of the other students, and she'd made it very clear to him and everyone else that she would _never_ have let him in her pants.

She wasn't sure if anyone believed it, but it'd felt nice to publicly castrate him. That fucker had deserved it.

At lunch she'd caught up with Finn and Rose but had kept her kiss with Ben to herself. On more than one occasion they'd asked her why she was smiling and looking so happy, but she insisted that she was just in a good mood after giving Mitaka an earful.

And all day, no matter what name she got called or what favor she got asked for, she kept thinking of Ben's lips on hers, and his words, spoken with absolute sincerity, _"You're perfect."_

By the time the ball rang to signal the end of classes, she'd almost forgotten what she was wearing. Ben hadn't attended school since she'd started dressing this way, and now she was about to get into his car looking like a hooker.

He looked surprised for a moment, and then his eyes fell over her body. She didn't miss it, but she found she didn't mind it either. If there was anyone she wanted looking at her like _that,_ it was him.

He'd moved his eyes away though, nodding to the school and asking how her day had been. When she told him she thought of him all day, she felt her demeanor suddenly shift to self-effacing.

Should she have told him that? They hadn't actually defined boundaries or their feelings, or what, exactly, this thing was between them.

Did he just want them to be friends with benefits? He seemed to care about her, but she wasn't sure if he wanted a relationship.

Then he took her hand and said that he thought of her too, and nothing else mattered.

* * *

Rey asked if he would take her home first so she could change. He agreed, but pointedly did _not_ get out of the car to face his uncle. His uncle pointedly did not come to his car to face him either, and he was grateful for that.

He spent the few minutes alone in the drive way trying not to think about Rey changing in her room, though he was sort of relieved she was. He wasn't sure if he could handle kissing her while she wore lingerie...it would probably make for a very embarrassing and not at all polite mess in his pants that he'd have to explain to both Rey _and_ his mother _._

Yeah, best avoid that.

When she emerges, she is wearing the yellow sundress he'd seen her in on the first day of school. Somehow, it's more attractive than what she'd been wearing before, because _this_ is Rey.

"Where are we going?" She wants to know when she returns to the passenger's seat.

"On a picnic," he answers her, silently thanking his mother for her foresight. Rey smiles at his answer and relaxes into her seat, and he flips on the radio. Some corny song from the 80's is playing, something about the _Glory of Love_ or some equally stupid bullshit. He'd change the station, but Rey has his hand again, and he finds he can tolerate the persistent cringe worthiness of the music in favor of not letting go of her.

* * *

When they arrive to the picnic spot, Rey recognizes it immediately as the same cliff overlook that Luke had brought her to the other day. It's beautiful, Rey muses, as she eats the sandwich Ben brought her while they sit on the hood of his car and look towards the city.

They eat in silence for a moment, and then fall into an easy conversation when Ben asks her how she likes staying with Luke. She answers that she loves it, and one topic of conversation leads to another. Before long, she's told him all about her other foster homes, how she's excited about the prospect of being adopted and having a permanent one, how she cares about Luke and is glad he took her in.

They talk about other things too, favorite movies, favorite music, favorite food. They talk about Ben's months in juvie and how he'd ended up there, about his smoking habit (which is mostly only something he does when he's stressed, and he's smoked a lot less lately), how he came to know Hux and Phasma, what their plans are after they graduate. Rey wants to do social work, Ben wants to study physics.

At some point, as the sun is setting, it starts to rain. Neither are eager to leave yet, even as they rush back into Ben's car. Rey realizes that they've been here for hours, only talking. She's learned a lot about Ben and he about her, and she finds she doesn't even mind that they haven't kissed yet.

But when they get into his car, wet from the sudden downpour and laughing at their luck, her eyes fall on his lips and she licks her own, and she thinks that maybe she'd like for the kissing to happen now.

He's staring at her, but as she leans over to him, he leans too, and _finally_ their lips meet again.

* * *

Kissing Rey is addictive, _far_ better than anything he could ever dare to imagine. And he can't really believe that he _isn't_ imagining this, that he is really here with her, in his car, with his hands on either side of her face and his fingers in her hair. Their mouths and tongues are working together with more familiarity now, but it's still all so new, and Ben doesn't think he could ever get bored of it.

It's hard to ignore the uncomfortable jab of the seatbelt buckle in his side though, and the awkward distance that the console puts between them. Rey seems to be equally as frustrated, but rather than give up, she asks if they can move to the backseat instead.

Obviously, that answer is an immediate and enthusiastic, "Yes."

He tries not to look at her legs when she crawls between the seats and into the back, but they're right _there_ in his line of vision and he can't really help it.

Now, with the obstacles out of the way, Ben finds that the backseat offers them the ability to get _much_ closer together. He takes advantage of it, wrapping one arm around Rey's shoulder and bringing his left hand to her face again.

For a while, there is only this world they are in, his focus narrowed to only Rey and nothing exists outside of her. He is concentrating on the motion of their mouths, the hungry way they are kissing each other, as if it's been years since the last time and not only just hours. His whole body is buzzing, as if he's somehow managed to take a hit from the lightning forking outside.

Too soon, Rey pulls away and looks at him, breathless and flush.

"If we're going to keep doing this, I need to know what this is."

"What this is?" He repeats dumbly, he's still reeling and trying to get a handle on his blissed-out brain.

"Am I your girlfriend or not? Because I'd like to be, but you haven't asked, and I'm not sure if I want to be friends with benefits."

"Oh." _Oh. Idiot._ He can almost hear his mother's exasperated sigh. "I'm sorry," he tells her, seriously why does she bother with him at all? "I would like you to be my girlfriend, I should have clarified." Or asked her yesterday, or when he'd first met her at school, or over the summer when he shouldn't have been avoiding her like a fucking fool.

"Okay," Rey says, and for whatever reason, she's smiling. "We can keep kissing then, if you want."

He definitely wants.

* * *

There is a part of Rey's mind that is still logical and capable of rational thought. It reminds her that kissing boys in the backseat of their cars is how sex scenes get started in movies, or how kids at school get stories to tell about which "base" they'd made it to.

Rey understands the potential that this snog session with Ben has for carrying them to some other level. After all, yesterday they'd found themselves coming close to that line as well. She doesn't have any objections to going there with Ben, but only if he is her boyfriend. She isn't her alter ego, who is perfectly comfortable with one-night stands and mindless groping. Rey wants more than that, she wants the relationship too.

Which Ben says is also what he wants, and so that settles it.

He's her boyfriend now, and she could smile about it all night (and she will she knows, once this is over), but for now she'd like to get back to kissing.

Kissing her _boyfriend._

Somehow it's even more exciting than before.

It's especially exciting when he makes a low groaning sound when she puts her legs over his lap to get more comfortable.

It melts right into her very bones, sending a wave of tingles through her body that gather right between her legs in a deliriously fervent heat.

All of that sensation goes right into her kiss, making it more desperate. Ben seems to pick up on the change in intensity, and answers it with a desire of his own.

They're getting better at this. Kissing has become some sort of second language now, and she can tell by the teeth nibbling at her bottom lip, the breathy sighs and soft moans they're both making, that this is building to something else.

Encouraged by that, her mouth doesn't just stay on his lips. She finds herself wanting to taste more of him, wanting to chase this exhilaration, at least for a little while longer. With her fingers threaded in his hair and almost half sitting in his lap (where she can feel a bulge under her legs that she's sure means Ben is just as eager about this as she is), she pulls away to kiss his chin, which is all stubbly with a five o'clock shadow that she finds quite handsome. Then, she kisses his cheek and, feeling a bit more daring, tilts his head with her hands and leaves a trail of kisses over his jawline.

His breathing picks up, his hands drop from her face and shoulders to rub along her back. She'd probably be blushing or feeling self-conscious right now if she'd had the presence of mind to do so. As it is, she only feels lost in this moment, in Ben.

Something more is needed, but Rey doesn't quite know what or how to ask for it. Thankfully, Ben does.

"Can I touch you?" He asks breathily, his voice low and deep.

And she whispers in reply, rather shakily, "Yes."

* * *

This kiss is going in a direction that Ben very much likes, and Rey seems to like it too, if the little whimpering sounds she's making are an indication. Ben _likes_ those sounds also, a fact which is made quite evident by the not at all shy boner he's sure she can feel against her legs.

Or maybe not. She doesn't seem to know how insanely aroused she makes him, because suddenly her mouth has moved away from his, and is on his chin, and then his cheek, and then his jawline. It gives him shivers, makes him want to bring her closer.

It makes him want to do a _lot_ of things, he isn't even sure where to start.

But, because he's someone who's been recently and thoroughly lectured about consent and communication, he asks, with the slightest hint of uncertainty, "Can I touch you?"

And the answer is "Yes."

It hits him like someone ringing a gong, her answer reverberating through him like a pulsing wave. His heart races, he swallows, suddenly very nervous.

Nervous, yet extremely enthusiastic.

He doesn't know where to put his hands first, so he starts by pulling her into another kiss. Hopefully it will distract her from the obvious reality that he has no idea what he is doing.

He moves one of his hands from her back to one of her legs that are crossed over his. It falls on her shin, and he finds it smooth and soft under his palm. His hand moves slowly and almost awkwardly upward, over her knee, then hesitantly, under her dress. When she makes no objections to that, he pauses to caress the warm flesh of her upper thigh with his fingers and then brings them around, to squeeze her ass experimentally. She grips his hair and dips her tongue into his mouth, moaning a bit which he takes to mean that she likes it.

He likes making her make that sound. So, of course he squeezes again to elicit another one, hardly daring to believe that it's her _ass_ he's fondling. He can feel the soft cotton material of her panties, and lightly strokes his hand over them, wishing he could push her dress up and _look._ But Rey hadn't said that he could look, and he doesn't want to press his luck any further by asking.

The car is darkening with the storm and the time, but she hasn't slapped him or stopped him yet, so he decides to boldly continue his exploration. His hand moves to her hip, and then slides up along her ribcage, stopping when he comes to the edge of her bra.

"Is this okay?" He mumbles against her mouth, tracing the underside of her bra with his thumb. She hasn't said otherwise, but he wants to be absolutely sure that she's getting some sort of gratification from his awkward fumbling.

She answers with a, "Mmhm."

It's really all the encouragement he needs.

He brings his hand up to massage one of her breasts. The entirety of it fits easily in his palm, and he wishes he could take them both in his hands, but their position doesn't allow for that. He rubs his thumb over her nipple instead, his breath catching in his throat when he feels it harden through the thin material covering it. Rey gasps too, and he brushes it lightly again.

"Fuck," he mutters, his mouth leaving hers this time, trailing kisses down her throat. He starts slowly from the hollow behind her ear and makes his way down to her shoulder, kissing her freckled skin there. His hand is still caressing her breast and Rey's soft hums sound like heaven. He wishes he could move lower and take her nipple into his mouth, but that would be crossing out of second base territory he thinks. As would moving his hand lower, to the one part of her he hasn't touched yet.

He'd very, _very_ much like to, but that isn't exactly first date stuff and if he's honest, he doesn't quite trust himself with that part of her yet. He doesn't want to risk making some inexperienced bungling mistake _there_ where he could inadvertently hurt her or potentially turn her off to him forever.

He'll consult with Google, he decides, and next time it comes to this, he'll know exactly what to do.

For now, he reluctantly pulls his hand from under Rey's dress, moving it to her back again and pulling her closer. He leans his head against her shoulder, and she wraps her arms around him. For a moment they are silent, only heavy breathing and the sound of rain hitting the car, but then Rey kisses the top of his head and says, "That was amazing."

He hums his agreement, and tightens his arms around her with a content smile on his face.

* * *

At some point the sun has set and the rain has let up, and with all of the reluctancy it's possible to possess in her tall, skinny frame, Rey decides that she should probably go home. It's dinner time, and if she doesn't show, she's certain Luke will have _ideas._

Well. _More_ ideas.

She's fairly sure he already has _some_ , as he'd asked her on the drive to school that morning, very seriously, if she had any questions about sex or dating or boys in general.

She got the impression that Luke's attitude towards sex was very liberal and open. He seemed to fall into the _make love, not war_ spectrum, an old hippy to his core. He never commented on the way she dressed, or about the rumor she told him she'd made up to help Finn. He didn't care if she were alone in her room with boys, or out to the movies with them, or getting picked up from school by them either. He made it known that he trusted her with decisions about her body, that she was smart enough to decide who, and what and where and when. She had nodded, and then he'd casually mentioned that, should she decide that she wanted it, he'd have no issue taking her to the doctor for birth control.

She'd been too embarrassed to tell him that she'd already gotten it, a simple implant in her upper arm, the last time she'd visited her doctor for a wellness check-up. Though _he_ was comfortable talking openly about sex, Rey surely wasn't to that point yet. Particularly when the person she _might_ be having sex with in the future was his _nephew._

Ben seems as reluctant to leave as she does, but he does eventually lower his arms from around her and lets her climb back into the front seat.

He forgoes climbing over this time, too big to do it without accidentally elbowing or kicking her, and gets out of the car instead. When he settles back into the driver's seat, he seems to have an idea.

"Wanna drive?" He asks her.

"Really?" She squeaks excitedly, "But you said never."

He dangles the keys in front of her, grinning. "I'll make an exception, just this once."


	12. Chapter 12

Rey finds that Ben's car is a perfect mirror of his personality.

It's temperamental, unpredictable and dangerous. It does what it wants and fuck you if you don't like it.

Rey had known there would be no power steering, because she'd worked on this type of car before. She had known the car would be a bit harder to handle than the one she'd gotten used to driving with Luke.

She hadn't known thatthe car would be more complicated than even some of the more intricate bo staff techniques she'd been learning over the summer.

The car just doesn't respond to a light turning of the wheel, it needs more of a tugging and yanking, a hand-over-hand pulling action until _finally_ it obeys.

And while the steering is complicated, it's nothing to figuring out the gears. It isn't an automatic, it's manual, the shift has to be shoved and jerked to go when and where it's needed.

The clutch is sticky and needs to be stomped, the brake pedal needs to be pressed all the way to the floor before it comes to a sudden and forceful stop.

In other words, Ben's car likes it rough.

She wonders if _that_ is a mirror of his personality as well.

She decides to entertain that idea later, when she isn't busy trying to maneuver four tons of volatile steel down a rain slicked highway.

She's also lost in other thoughts, more daunting and far less interesting.

Maybe it's silly. Rey knows that Ben likes her, but she has sixteen years of abandonment, rejection and low self-worth issues to contend with, the latter of which have been stirred up rather viciously in the last week. So, she might be forgiven for worrying that this new relationship is fleeting and stipulative, like most everything else in her life had been, until only a handful of months ago when she moved in with Luke.

She's still healing, and learning to trust.

"Can I tell people? About us?"

When he'd agreed to being her friend, it had been under the notion that they would be _taking things slow_ and that they would not be friends at school.

But they hadn't taken things slow at all, not really, and they weren't friends anymore but they were _together_ now _._

What if he wanted her to be his girlfriend only on the same conditions under which he'd agreed to being her friend?

She should have asked him that before, but the thought has only just surfaced in the bliss of her happy bubble.

"Only if you want to," Ben answers, and Rey thinks that maybe, based on what she knows of him, he might have been suffering the same fears and issues as her.

Luckily, she can alleviate them all right now.

"I want to," she tells him assuredly. She thinks she sees him smile in her periphery. It makes her smile too.

* * *

When Ben arrives back home, his parents are casually pretending that he hasn't just gone out with a girl. He can tell that his mother is especially curious, but she doesn't ask. She's hoping that he will spill the beans and tell them about it on his own.

He won't.

But of course, they catch his far-off dreamy look, and probably whatever heart eyes Poe had mentioned that once.

It's his dad who breaks the ice first, giving Ben a knowing smirk from across the table.

"So, did you get to second base?"

Ben chokes on the water he'd been sipping.

"Han!" His mother hisses, smacking him on the shoulder with the back of her hand. Ben wonders how his dad ever got his mother to fall for him. He does literally nothing that she likes and they fight almost constantly when he's home. But the fighting usually ends with them " _watching television"_ in their bedroom, and Ben can't help but think—though he has _really_ tried hard not to—that it's code for something else.

"You don't need to answer that sweetheart," his mother says, patting him on the back to help his choking fit while he glares at his father's smug face from across the table.

"You're right, I'm sorry," the old man apologizes, spreading his hands out apologetically. "I shouldn't have asked. I know exactly how hard it can be, _feeling_ your way around a first date."

"Han," his mother says again, warningly. It falls on deaf ears.

"What?" His father feigns innocence. Ben is concentrating very hard on trying to make himself spontaneously combust. "I'm just saying, I remember _groping_ my way through mine. I tried to _squeeze_ in as much fun as I could, but I'm not sure she found it as _gripping_ as I did."

"With puns like that, it's no wonder," his mother says dryly. They fall into an uneasy, awkward silence, his father's amusement with the situation written plainly in his rugged features, and his mother's annoyance but extreme curiosity about how things had gone with Rey burning just below the surface.

This is something familiar. A quiet dinner, tension thick enough to slice, the obvious constraint of three people who do not know how to communicate with each other.

His parents never had communicated well, they'd always been all biting words and clashing dominant personalities. They loved each other, certainly, Ben knew that, but he didn't see the softer side of it often. Sometimes he'd catch his mother stealing a kiss, or his father wrapping her in his arms, but whatever affection they showed each other seemed to be mostly reserved to _television time_ and Ben had _no_ interest in knowing the details of what went on behind that door.

He had no interest in sharing the details of what went on in _his_ love life either. It was...sacred, special. He didn't feel like offering it up to his father to mock or his mother to pick apart. There were some things he'd shared to appease them, but mostly he wanted to keep it all to himself.

Perhaps it was a slight bit because he could punish them in this way, because they had seldom ever shown this level interest in his life before. Of course, maybe that had something to do with the fact that most of what he'd done until now had been getting into trouble, but it still felt odd, to have them so interested.

And perhaps it's a slight bit _because_ they're interested. They're noticing, they're attempting to be involved like normal parents, they're _paying attention._

It's funny how that works. He'd tried so hard for years to get it by acting out, and now he's getting showered in it simply for being typical.

A fond look settles over Han's face as he watches Ben squirm uncomfortably. Then, without any prompting from his mother and with all of the sincerity that Ben has ever known the man to possess he tells him, "I'm proud of you, kid."

And his mother says, "We both are."

Ben doesn't admit it out loud, but between being with Rey and now hearing that, he thinks maybe this is one of the best days of his life.

* * *

Rey texts Finn after dinner.

 _We need to talk._

She waits what seems like an eternity, while she changes into her pajamas, washes her face, brushes her teeth and hair and thinks about what she will say.

Finally, her phone rings.

"Hey peanut," comes Finn's smooth voice, "What's up?"

Rey takes a slow breath in through her nose, out through her mouth. Then, she tells Finn everything, from the dinner at Ben's house, to the movie, to the kiss in her room and then the picnic on the cliff (with certain details obviously omitted).

When she's finished, Finn is silent and it hangs heavy in the air like an anvil waiting to fall. She will still date Ben no matter what, but she really, _really_ wants her friends to give him a chance. Especially Finn, because he's her best friend, and because he's the one who's had the most trouble with Ben.

"I knew it."

"What?" Rey asks, drawn out of her anxious fretting. That hadn't quite been the reply she was expecting.

"I figured something was going on when he punched me," Finn tells her. "I mean, he'd been a dick to me before, but he never went as far as punching me for no reason. And you've been smiling a lot lately, I just kind of put two and two together."

She lets out the breath she was holding, but then asks her most pressing question, "Are you mad at me?"

"Never," Finn answers immediately, and she can hear the smile in his voice, "But if he doesn't treat you right, I'm punching him back."

"You won't have to," Rey assures him with a smile of her own, feeling a lot lighter.

Finn hesitates before speaking again. "I guess I should tell you...I have a boyfriend, too."

The admission makes Rey's smile grow wider. "Oh really? Who?"

A pause and then, "Poe Dameron."

Well. This night is certainly full of surprises.

* * *

Finn gives her all of the details, and unlike Rey, he doesn't omit _anything._

He starts with how they started taking the same boxing class together at the gym. Finn wasn't a fighter by nature but he wanted to learn to defend himself (he also admits he was too caught off guard by Ben punching him to actually put any of those lessons to use).

He and Poe started hanging out more after that, and subtle flirting turned into some not so subtle heated kissing and touching which prompted Poe to break things off with Sabine.

It was then that Poe realized how shitty he'd been acting, hiding his sexuality behind girls he never intended to commit to, and how Rey's words had struck a chord with him. He realized that his actions had bigger consequences than he'd cared to look too closely at before. But he decided he didn't want to keep hurting people, or punishing himself, and so he and Finn had agreed to a secret relationship in much the same way she and Ben had.

And it becomes clear to them as they talk, that they've both been holding themselves back from their own happiness on account of worrying what others might think.

It isn't fair. No one at school has the right to rob them of anything.

So, they agree to tell the truth.

* * *

The first step to coming clean is to admit everything to Rose, who isn't pleased at not being told sooner. But because she is never without her humor or her innate sweetness, all is forgiven and she muses, "Guys. This is even better than the fake rumors about you."

Then, together they make a plan to get the truth out. One last rumor, and then they will never have to tell another lie.

* * *

On Friday, Rey has one outfit left. It's a pale blue bodice trimmed in light pink lace.

She takes in her appearance in the mirror, strengthening her resolve.

After today, she never wants to be this person again.

At school there is talk, as there always is, but Rey has a grim determination to work in a rumor of her own.

Poe, Finn and Rose help, and by the end of the day, news has spread through the entire school that Rey Kenobi is going to have sex with someone live on webcam. The link to her channel is passed through letters and texts and word of mouth.

She even sees it scribbled on students' hands in the lunch line.

She really cannot wait to disappoint every single one of them.

* * *

At home, Rey sits on her bed with her phone, opening the camera and taking a deep breath before she goes live.

Six hundred people are waiting. It makes her feel queasy. That must mean that nearly the entire school is watching. Which was the point, yes, but... _six hundred_ people are here because they think they will get to watch her have sex with someone else.

It's disgusting.

"The rumors of my promiscuity have been greatly exaggerated," she begins. Public speaking was never her forte, but it's easier when she doesn't have to look at any faces. She sort of wishes she could though, to see their disappointment as the truth unfolds itself in her words.

She confesses to everything, watching as, minute by minute, the number of people who were watching her webcast becomes less and less.

She had hoped to have the entire truth out before everyone started losing interest, but she can't help finding it relieving all the same. She no longer holds the attention of the masses now. No one cares about who she is or what she has or hasn't done anymore.

 _Thank fucking god._

The unmistakable sound of Ben's car pulling into the driveway drifts in through her open window and she grins at her phone screen.

"That's Ben Solo," she tells the twenty-five or so people who didn't lose interest after they figured out she would just be talking the whole time. "Not that I owe any of you anymore confessions but, he's my boyfriend. And I _really_ like him. I might even lose my virginity to him. Maybe five minutes from now or in six months. Maybe not until our wedding night, but...The really amazing thing is,it is nobody's goddamn business."

* * *

On Monday, Rey is practically anonymous again. Ben hugs her when they meet at the flagpole. She holds his hand in the halls. He pins her against the lockers between classes and kisses her senseless.

No one cares.

It may be partially because no one wants to invite Ben's wrath by commenting on it. It may also be because Finn and Poe have captured everyone's attention now. They don't seem to mind, though. It's easier to deal with the bullying, Rey finds, if you don't have to do it alone.

It gives her an idea, and after her English class she talks to Mr. Griffith about starting an anti-bullying program at their school, an idea he enthusiastically supports. When she has lunch with Leia that afternoon so she can ' _get to know her future niece and daughter-in-law'_ she mentions the club and Leia offers to fund it. Within a week there are support group meetings being held in the library, awareness events being planned, and a new guidance counselor being hired.

It feels good to do something proactive, but it feels even better to finally just enjoy being herself. And, Rey decides, maybe her junior year really _will_ be her best one yet.

* * *

Two weeks after her webcast, Rey finds herself back at the cliff with Ben.

It had been a busy few weeks, full of Rey's club activities and Ben starting family therapy with his parents. They'd managed to see each other after school a few times, did a double date with Finn and Poe, and hung out with their (now mutual) friend, Rose.

But they hadn't really been well and truly alone together since the last time they'd been here.

The sky is darkening as the sun sinks lower, and when he parks the car, Ben reaches for Rey almost instantly. His hands cup her face as he pulls her into a kiss. It isn't like the hard, passionate, quick-paced kisses he gives her against the lockers at school where they have to rush. It's soft, slow, almost sweet. It's like he is taking his time to commit every second of it to memory, the sweep of their tongues, the scraping of his teeth against her bottom lip, the soft moan she gives and the breathy sighs.

As before, though, there is the obstacle of distance and the uncomfortable digging of seatbelt latches as they lean into each other.

"Backseat again?" He pulls out of the kiss to ask, breathlessly. Rey nods and climbs over the seat, while Ben gets out to join her. As if there never was a break, they are back on each other instantly, getting further lost in the kiss now that they can focus the entirety of their attention on it.

It changes pace, no longer slow but desperate and hungry. She moves herself over him to straddle his lap, seeking a closeness and chasing a sudden spike of neediness. She isn't sure what exactly it is she's looking for at first, just a desire to be _closer,_ to _feel,_ to _move._ She can feel the hardness of him pressed against his jeans beneath her, and then she _does_ move.

She rolls her hips over him, slowly at first, testing the friction, but then Ben makes a noise that is somewhere between a groan and a growl in the back of his throat and thrusts up, and she gasps. She rolls her hips against him again, and his hips thrust up again to meet her. A sharp jolt of pleasure shoots through her, and she whimpers as their movements become synced, building an intense and desperate ache between them.

She can feel herself getting close to a finish, and suddenly finds herself greedy for more of it. She picks up her pace and so does he, his thrusts becoming harder, faster, each of them reaching for the same promise of release but neither knowing just quite how to get there.

Rey tugs at his shirt, her fingers itching with the need to touch his skin. When Ben leans up a fraction so that he can help her pull it over his head, she stills her hips and breaks their heated kiss to take in the smooth, pale expanse of his exposed skin, suddenly overcome with the urge to taste it. So she does, pressing gentle kisses on his neck and then retraces the path with her tongue. She moves to his shoulders next, and as far down his chest as their position allows her to reach.

The sounds of their labored breathing fill the quiet car, and his soft groan when she finds a patch of skin on his collarbone and sucks it lightly. He tastes like sweat and something that is decidedly _boy,_ but it isn't bad. In fact, she finds it rather addictive. Some other time when she has more room to maneuver, she'd really like to taste more of him.

Her exploration seems to spur him on, and soon it is Rey's shirt she is helping to pull over her head, and then it's Ben's mouth on her neck, following the same path hers had on his skin. Only, he has more of the advantage. With her in his lap, he can lean her back farther between the seats to kiss more of her. He leaves soft kisses across the tops of her breasts that make her shudder, and then traces the edge of her bra with his index finger.

"Can I take this off?" He asks, meeting her eyes with a look that is intense and wild and full of lust. How can she deny him anything when he looks at her like _that_? She _wants_ him to have her, to show her with his mouth what he is telling her with his eyes, that he will completely devour her if she'll let him.

She nods, self-conscious but no less eager.

He gives her a lopsided grin that is somehow both sexy and endearing at once.

With no lack of enthusiasm, Ben reaches behind her to unclasp it, but is soon growling in frustration as his fingers—long and thick and anything but nimble—fumble to get her bra unhooked.

"Here, let me," she whispers, reaching behind her to unhook it. Ben does the rest of the work, pulling it down her arms and kissing her shoulder as he does. When its off, he pulls back to look at her, and a wave of panic hits Rey, causing a blush to break out from her cheeks all the way down her chest.

She is of below average breast size compared to the other girls in her grade. There is something there, sure, but it's nothing to boast about. Nothing like what Ben—as well as most other boys, she's been told—has likely fantasized about before.

"They're..." she begins to say, as if she owes him an apology for her clear lack of endowment, but Ben's look silences her. He looks utterly fascinated. His eyes are wide and his lips are parted like he's just been given a particularly exciting gift for Christmas. "Fucking perfect," he finishes for her, his hands coming up to caress them. He brushes his thumbs in circles over her nipples, and when they harden under his touch, he lowers his mouth to one, surprising a gasp out of Rey.

"Oh fuck," she murmurs, and he growls in a way that is positively sinful. It sends a shudder up and down her spine, fresh heat pooling in her core. She watches, her hands threading in his hair, as he licks and nibbles at her nipple, before sucking it into his mouth. She can't help the jagged moan that escapes her, melting into him as his mouth works over her and his hand works her other breast, squeezing and massaging as she arches into him.

This seems to be more encouragement for Ben. His hand leaves her breast, fingers moving slowly but deliberately over the smooth, flat plane of her stomach, stopping when he reaches the aching core between her thighs to rub her there.

The movement of his mouth and fingers at once is almost too much, and Rey can feel the tension building again, stretching tight and begging for relief. She sucks in a breath, unable to stop herself moving against his hand, and then shudders with a groaned, " _Please_ , Ben."

She feels very empty, bereft even, having his fingers _outside_ of her. As good as that feels, she's craving more. Her body all but demands to feel them _inside_ too.

He doesn't seem to understand what she's asking him for though, confusedly pulling his hand back and taking his mouth off of her nipple, as if he thinks she meant for him to stop.

 _God, no. Anything but that._

In the most simple, effective and quite possibly embarrassing way she can tell him—though she's too out of her mind with lust to feel any shame right now—she takes his hand and unceremoniously puts it down her panties.

"Oh," Ben says, sounding both surprised and pleased. Somehow, he knows exactly what to do. He slides a finger through her folds and the gathering wetness there, and then he looks at her, rather pleased with himself when he finds just _exactly_ how wet he's made her. She might have told him not to look so smug, but he deserves it really.

"Fuck, that's hot," he mutters, his finger still sliding back and forth through her slit, until he hits the bundle of nerves at the apex of it that makes her jump. He puts his mouth on hers again, smiling against her lips as he sets to work, his finger making lazy circles around her clit.

He kisses her more fervently, bringing her closer and closer to the edge with his finger before he dips it lower and teases her entrance. He pauses, peering up at her through heavily lidded eyes, "Is this okay?"

" _Yes_ ," she tells him in a breathy whisper, sounding more needy and pleading than she'd meant to, but when he slides his finger inside of her, her world is suddenly limited to the feel of that and only that. She grips his shoulders, keening at the smooth feel of his thick finger moving in and out of her, the filthy sounds she can't help making as he starts rubbing his thumb back and forth across her clit, quickening the pace as he goes. Rey is like a rubber band pulled tight, and when he moves his mouth down to lick her nipple again, the tension releases and she breaks, crying out as she comes.

Ben kisses her then, utterly ravenous.

"I want," she starts, pulling away after a long moment and panting, still coming down from her climax. "I want..." He's looking at her as if he knows what she might say and he's just waiting to hear it. His hair is a mess from having her hands tangled in it, his lips kissed bruised, a love bite on his collarbone. He looks completely lascivious and Rey loves it. "I want you."

Ben nuzzles her breasts, very near purring. He raises his eyes to meet hers, his fingers dragging softly over her back. He looks at her for a moment, dark eyes somehow soft and intense at once. "Are you sure?"

Rey nods, "Yes," she tells him firmly, "If-If you want to."

In answer, Ben hooks his fingers over the waistband of her shorts and begins tugging them down.

It takes a certain finesse that Rey doesn't have to make shimmying out of her shorts in a cramped back seat look even remotely sexy. There is nothing attractive about the kicking, grunting with effort, tugging action she's doing, but Ben seems to be completely enamored by it. They work together, pulling and yanking until they are both divested of their clothes, completely exposed to each other.

A silent moment passes where their eyes are raking over each other, taking in everything. It makes Rey feel slightly nervous, but she's too busy drinking him in to focus on it too much.

She's only ever seen the male anatomy on illustrations in health class. She has no point of reference really for what is normal sized and what isn't. She only knows that Ben does _not_ look like any illustration she's ever seen. He's _quite_ a bit bigger than that, and she knows the mechanics of sex, how it's intended to work, but she doesn't know exactly how the implementation is going to go, or how _that_ is going to fit inside of her.

Still, she's no coward. She's ready to try.

She moves her hand between them, wanting to touch him. He hisses when she brushes his erection, and she grips it. It looks entirely too big in her small hand, and he throws his head back against the seat with a groan.

Experimentally, she starts pumping her hand up and down, and the resulting, _"Ah fuck, Rey,"_ is all the encouragement she needs to keep going. His eyes are squeezed shut, his hands clutching her hips, the column of his neck exposed to her and she licks it, making him shudder and groan again.

"Rey," he gasps, when her hand picks up pace, "I won't-" he breaks himself off with a moan, but then grabs her hand to stop her. "I won't make it," he explains, "If you keep doing that."

"Oh," she replies with a small smile, taking her turn to feel smug. "Sorry."

He presses his head against hers, panting. "Don't be," he whispers, and then he brings his hand up to trace lazy circles around her breast. "Do you still want to?" He presses a kiss to her throat, "We don't have to, we can stop right now. I won't be mad."

Rey knows he's telling the truth, and she appreciates it very much, but stopping is the _last_ thing she wants to do.

"I don't want to stop," she tells him, and he lets out a shaky breath against her ear.

"Okay," he pulls himself away from her neck, his face flushing, "But I've never—I mean, I don't exactly know how..." he trails off, but she understands his meaning.

Rey smiles, putting her hands on either side of his face and kissing his forehead. "Me either," she tells him, "But I think we can figure it out."

He nods, offering her another lopsided grin before kissing her. She reaches between them to take him in hand again, and line him up with her entrance. The tip has just barely breached her when he pulls back with a "Wait," and she groans impatiently. He reaches down to the floorboard, fumbling for something in his discarded pants.

"What are you doing?" Rey wonders, what could he _possibly_ need down there?

"I have a thing," he mumbles, "A condom, in my wallet, but I can't reach- _shit_."

"It's alright," she assures him, running her fingers through his hair, "We don't need it. I'm covered."

"Oh," he says, taking a deep breath and nodding, "Right, okay. Good."

He shifts, sitting up again and positioning her right over his erection. He presses forward once more, and Rey inwardly coaches herself to relax, to not tense up. He breaches her again, shaking with the effort of restraining himself, of keeping his movement slow and steady.

Rey takes a deep breath, adjusting to the stretch and the foreign feeling. She moves herself slowly down as he slides slowly in and, after a moment, he's seated fully inside of her. They both groan, eyes rolling backwards. She hears Ben mutter, _"Oh fuck, oh fuck,"_ as he pauses to let Rey adjust. His shaking hand comes up to cup her cheek and he asks, "Are you okay?"

She nods. It's a stretching feeling, it sort of pinches a bit, but it doesn't hurt. Ben leaves kisses all over her cheeks and nose, and then she moves, and he thrusts slowly to match her, guiding her with his hands on her hips. Rey keeps her hands in his hair, concentrating on the full feeling of him inside of her, the drag of him as he moves in and out in long, slow strokes. He's whispering in her ear, mindless filthy things that make shivers run up and down her spine. "God, you feel so good. You're so beautiful like this. Wanna fuck you all the time..."

Unlike him, Rey has lost her ability to speak, to find words, she can only describe what she's feeling through the soft and shattered moans falling from her lips, the dig of her fingers on his scalp and down his back, the strange feeling of being stretched disappearing into something else, something _good._

"Ben," she calls, the movement of her hips more insistent, and his pace picks up to meet hers, his thrusts becoming harder, faster. He kisses and licks his way down her neck again.

"I'm not going to last," he tells her, his pace becoming more erratic and less steady. She keeps her eyes open, focusing on the way he is panting, his eyes closed, his mouth open, pleasured groans and gasps escaping him at random. It all builds into a crescendo, her sounds and his, until finally he pulls her tight against him and spends himself inside of her, her name on his lips.

She doesn't come with him, but she doesn't mind. Seeing his completely satisfied, sated expression is enough for her.

"I'm sorry," he mumbles, burying his face in her breasts, sweaty and panting and absolutely gorgeous.

"Don't be," she runs her fingers through his hair, grinning. "I already had my turn," she reminds him, "And that was amazing."

"Fuck yeah," he agrees, which makes her laugh. She wraps her arms around him, holding him close to her, kissing the side of his head.

"Rey," he whispers, his own arms encircling her, "I think I love you."

She smiles and whispers back, "I think I love you too."


	13. Chapter 13--Epilogue

Authors note: So we have come now to the end of the story :) This chapter takes a peek into the future with a little fluff and a little smut and a little surprise. Rey is 26 years old in this chapter and Ben is 27.

* * *

When Ben Solo fell for Rey Kenobi, it had happened hard and fast. Her strong, spunky, sweetness had tripped him, and then he'd kept tripping, tumbling helplessly right over the edge, head over heels, absolutely and irrevocably in love.

Ten years later, he was still falling.

And because his love for Rey knew no bounds, he found himself at his fucking _high school reunion_ , mingling with people he hadn't seen in a decade and hadn't really cared to ever see again.

He and Rey had moved after college. They'd only gone a few towns over but it was far enough to ensure they never ran into anyone they recognized, and the only people from high school that they'd cared to see were the three they still kept in touch with: Poe, Finn and Rose.

But Rey was nothing if not enterprising, so when the head of the reunion planning committee, Sabine Wren, had asked her to come speak about her _'unique'_ high school experience, Rey had taken the challenge.

She wore a red "A" pinned to her sapphire tea dress, and spoke openly about her bullying. It was something she already did often in her career. She'd gotten a master's degree in social work and human services. She worked in children's welfare and she was passionate about it, particularly when it came to raising awareness about issues children faced at school.

It was the only reason she'd agreed to speak at this reunion at all, and so it was the only reason Ben was here.

They'd been given name tags with their yearbook picture on them above a few lines of information about themselves. Ben's name tag said that he was married to Rey Kenobi (Skywalker-Solo) and that he was a design engineer.

No one paid attention to that, though.

The handful of people who had bothered to make conversation with him had only remarked on how different he looked. As if they'd expected him to always be awkward and gangly.

He'd taken full advantage of Finn owning a gym, and he saw with some degree of satisfaction, that people who'd been terrified of him in high school were even less inclined to speak to him now. Apparently, his scowl was something he hadn't grown out of, and pairing that with his height and his—now very—muscular build, he wasn't exactly approachable.

He preferred it that way.

Rey was friendlier, so most people spoke to her while he quietly listened and sipped his beer. He was on his third or fourth one by now, he'd lost count.

It was a blessing that they'd had open bar, but Ben wouldn't have really expected any less from Sabine. She'd been a drinker since their freshman year of high school, and she didn't show any signs of slowing down even in adulthood. He'd heard the stories from Poe, who's bar she frequented. She had tried to rekindle their relationship on several occasions, until Poe had finally married Finn.

And then Sabine had settled for...Hux, of all people, but the two of them had recently divorced.

As if summoned by Ben's thoughts, Sabine suddenly came rushing towards Rey with her arms out for a hug.

"Rey! How are you? It's been so long!" She held Rey for a little longer than was necessary, and Ben's eyebrows rose when he saw her pick up some of Rey's hair from her shoulder and _sniff_ it. She was clearly already plastered, and she was a very sloppy drunk. " _So_ long," she said again, a bit more wistful this time. Rey managed to pull herself away, but then Sabines eyes fell on Ben and stayed very much attached to his body in a way that was not in the least bit innocent.

"Hey Solo," she reached to hug him but he took a step back and her arms fell on nothing. She was not deterred. "You look good, like man candy. I like it," she gave him a wink. Ben nearly choked on his beer.

"Me and my _husband_ were just going to the dance floor," Rey told her stiffly, sliding her arm through his. "It was nice seeing you again, Sabine." She didn't sound at all convincing, biting off the words through clenched teeth.

It made Ben feel sort of smug. He was always the one getting jealous over Rey. _Always._ They'd gotten married right out of high school, but her ring hadn't stopped the looks or offers she'd gotten from other guys in college. Or at her job. Or at the fucking grocery store. The laundromat. The time she had a girl's night with Rose and bumped into Mitaka. That one asshole from the Chinese place they'd _used_ to order food from.

Yes, Ben was keeping a list.

So, to see Rey jealous was a rare treat for him and he _liked_ it. He found her possessiveness extremely attractive, although she really had nothing to worry about. Anyone with eyes could see he was gone for her. His old man teased him about it incessantly, almost as often as he asked for grandchildren.

But Rey's eyes were narrowed over her shoulder as she led him away, zeroed in on Sabine with laser focus.

When they reached the dance floor, Ben was relieved to hear a slow song playing, because he had zero delusions as to his lack of skill or interest when it came to any other sort of dancing.

While Peter Gabriel sung about the light and heat in someone's eyes, Ben looked down at Rey, his own eyes shining with amusement and something else...something wicked.

Rey must have felt his gaze, because she looked up at him. "What?" She wondered. There was confusion on her face, but her eyes were still flaming with resentment.

"Is she still looking?" Ben asked, and Rey looked around his shoulder and nodded. Her tense posture relaxed as he turned them in full view of Sabine, took her face in his large hands and then kissed her earnestly. It wasn't chaste, he slid his tongue into her mouth and pulled her closer to him.

"I like it when you're jealous," he murmured in her ear, pressing himself against her. He was already hard and the contact made his cock twitch.

"Mm, I can tell," she replied, and suddenly, Sabine was forgotten. "Want to get out of here?"

Did he _ever_.

* * *

Unfortunately, they couldn't make a mad dash to the door like Ben wanted.

They had promised Rose—who'd landed the photographer gig—that they'd visit the photobooth, and so they (namely Rey) decided to make a quick stop.

As quick as could be expected with an always bubbly and at times very inconveniently chatty Rose.

"Having a good time?" She asked, oblivious and unconcerned with the raging boner he was trying to surmount.

"Not really," Rey answered honestly, "We were just on our way out." He'd still like for them to be on their way out, but Rey unlinked her arm from his and leaned over to look at a table piled with photo props. He forced his eyes away from her ass, but found absolutely nothing that interested him more on that plastic fold up table. It had an overabundance of tacky things, huge sunglasses and feather boas. "How about you?"

"Oh, it's been quite lively over here," Rose replied, and then she spent fifteen solid minutes telling him and Rey about every encounter she'd had so far.

Bazine Netal brought a date over, a very rich one, but she was still as rude as ever.

Jessika Pava had brought no date and no husband, but showed Rose several pictures of her cats that she had stored on her phone.

And Rose, still very single and not ready to settle down, had gotten asked by Ezra Bridger for her phone number.

Ben picks through the photo props, only half listening. His thoughts are on far more important matters somewhere else. Somewhere like their bed, where he can bury his face between Rey's legs and lick her to oblivion. Or maybe they won't make it that far, maybe he'll just take her right in the kitchen, bend her over the table...

But home is so far away. An entire _hour_ drive, and that just seems like torment to his impatient, ridiculously keyed up—and slightly drunk- body.

Rey smiles and hands him a prop. It's a sign that says, "My wife made me come."

The double meaning is not lost on him, particularly when she winks and tells him in a whisper, "Not yet, but I will."

Later, he'll laugh at how utterly ridiculous his stunned face looks in the pictures Rose takes, but right now, he suffers.

* * *

"I may be a little drunk," Ben admits on their way to the car. She hadn't kept up with his trips to the open bar, but it seems he'd made generous use of it. "Can you drive?"

She laughs a little, holding out her hand for the keys. "You'd better be glad I'm such a responsible adult, Solo."

He places the keys in her hand with a snort. "You're just a glutton for punishment," he decides, "Who can possibly stay sober around an open bar and a room full of boring assholes?"

"People who want to get home without a DUI," she answers casually, settling in the driver's seat and reaching over to unlock the passenger side door. They are still behind the times in this regard, still driving the mustang. It has no automatic locks or power windows, but it has memories.

The backseat, in particular.

Although, it may be imperative soon to get another vehicle.

A family one.

There is another reason Rey had absolutely no alcohol tonight, after all.

She'd only just found out that morning, when she'd realized she was two weeks late. They'd been trying to get pregnant for six months, so it hadn't come as a complete shock when after waiting the recommended five minutes for a result, it had been positive.

But she'd still been overwhelmed in the very best of ways, flooded with nervous excitement and joy. She'd wanted to tell Ben right then, forget the reunion and go celebrate, but she hadn't wanted to miss her speaking engagement. She was going to tell him after the reunion, but telling him when he was drunk didn't feel like the right time either.

"So, I was thinking," Ben says, slouching in his seat after buckling himself in.

"You were?" Rey teases him, "Did it hurt?"

He gives her an amused smile. Adorable, even with his drunk, glassy eyes. "A little," he replies, "But I soldiered through and reached the inevitable conclusion that we should go to the cliff."

"The cliff," Rey repeats, taking her turn to be amused. "And why would we go there?"

" _Because,_ " he says with the air of someone who thinks it should be obvious. "I want to fuck you there, like old times."

She shivers. He knows she loves his filthy mouth, but she keeps teasing him anyway. "That's subtle, Benjamin."

"Is that a yes?"

"Do you think you can manage, tosspot?"

"I'm drunk, not impotent. I can manage _just fine."_

"We'll see."

"Yes, you will."

"Can't wait."

Ben, who had been leaning his head against the seat with his eyes closed, pops one open in surprise.

"So we're going?"

"Oh, we're going," Rey confirms. "Try not to pass out on the way."

* * *

He doesn't pass out, he remains fully and absolutely _awake._

How could he not, with the promise of what is to come?

He's had Rey in many different places in a hundred different ways, but sex with her has never lost its thrill. He's still just as excited as if it were the first time.

And outdoor sex? _Fuck yeah._

Rey parks and shuts the car off. The cliff hasn't changed at all, and Ben is glad for it. He'd hoped no one else would find it, even though it's part of his honorary Uncle Lando's property and they are technically trespassing. Lando is never home, and Ben is certain he isn't home right now, because it's poker night with his dad and Luke.

Ben hurries to get his seatbelt off, but when Rey makes to climb into the backseat, he stops her.

"No," he says. He's in the mood for something else, feeling a little more risky now that he's full of liquid courage. "I want you on the hood."

She grins at him and kisses his cheek, "Naughty boy."

But she has no objections, which doesn't surprise him. Rey has always been adventurous.

That's his girl.

* * *

It starts off innocent enough. she sits on the hood of their car, and Ben stands between her legs and brings his lips to hers. He tastes like beer, but she doesn't mind. His hands are in her hair and hers are on his waist. They kiss like that for a while, distant sounds from the city below reach Rey's ears, a soft breeze blows around them.

It's romantic.

Then Ben lowers his hands to her shoulders and pushes her gently back until she is lying flat against the hood. He leans over her, hands on either side of her head, bends down to her ear and says in his low velvety voice, "I want to make you come so hard they can hear your screams in that fucking city."

She nearly falls apart at just _hearing_ him say it.

" _Yes_ ," she breathes, and then his mouth is on her neck and down the valley of her breasts, leaving a trail of hot kisses in his wake.

He's gotten far better at this since the last time they'd been here as teenagers. He knows where to touch her and how, he knows every corner of her body and yet, somehow, he still manages to look like he's seeing it for the first time when he moves her low-cut dress aside, dipping his fingers into her bra to pull it down too.

He takes a second to admire her before he licks and kisses and gently sucks her nipple into his mouth. It hurts a little, no matter how gentle he's being. It isn't enough to make her ask him to stop, but it's odd.

His hand frees her other breast and he squeezes it. That hurts too, and it takes Rey's lust fogged brain a moment to realize why.

Sore breasts seem to be her first pregnancy symptom.

"Gentle," she hisses, and he mumbles a "Sorry," against her nipple, lavishing kisses on both of her breasts as if in apology, before he moves his mouth lower.

He sucks at a patch of skin over her ribcage, leaving a mark there, continuing his sweet descent until he's on his knees in front of her, pulling her by the hips to the edge of the car.

He puts her legs over his shoulders and runs his hands over her thighs, pushing her dress up. "Fuck," he mutters, "You're so goddamn sexy." Rey shivers as he lowers his mouth to her knee and licks and kisses a path, down the inside of her thigh, to the black lace of her panties.

He places his mouth over the thin—now very damp- material separating him from her sex and mouths at her there, greedily. This particular area of her feels different now as well, but it isn't sore or painful like her breasts had been, everything here feels sensitive in a heightened, better way. She can already feel an orgasm building despite that she's still fully clothed and he's barely touched her yet.

That soon changes. Ben tugs her panties down her hips and eases them over her legs. She doesn't even mind that he just leaves them laying discarded in the dirt, because his mouth is suddenly on her and it's exactly what she needs.

He has always been enthusiastic in this, as if he loves it as much as she does, and he's got a mouth that's positively _made_ for it. He learned very quickly how to use it too, and he makes a point of using it often.

His breath and the gentle flicking of his tongue against her clit, mingled with the thrill of being in the open have her dangling very close to euphoria. He curls a finger inside of her, then adds another. Her breath leaves her in heavy pants, and a chant of _"Fuck, fuck, oh fuck."_

It's a culmination, her body hums with the high of it, and soon she is coming apart with a wail, her legs shaking weakly. Ben rises up to kiss her, full of her taste. "That was perfect," he whispers, stroking her leg with his hand, "I'm going to make you do that again."

She doesn't doubt him for a single second.

* * *

Rey is boneless and quivering on the hood of his car, her high heeled clad feet propped on the bumper, legs spread wide, dress twisted and hiked up over her hips, leaving her bare body exposed from the waist down. Her breasts are out too, and she's utterly gorgeous like this.

He takes a moment to just stare, because she'd surely kill him if he tried to snap a picture, but _goddammit_ , he doesn't want to forget this.

He undoes the buttons on the dress shirt he had to wear to the stupid reunion, and then peels off the t-shirt underneath. Both are dropped haphazardly onto the ground.

He is single minded at the moment, focused with intensity on Rey and only Rey.

He leans over to kiss her again, deep and loving, his drunkenness wearing off into a pleasant buzz, though he surely feels drunk off of _her._

They work together to undo his belt and pants, and then he's lifting Rey's trembling legs, positioning them so that the backs of her heels are hooked over his shoulders.

He presses into her, gripping her ass in his hands to keep her propped, the hot, tight feel of her around him making his already blurred vision seem blurrier. He should probably close his eyes, but he can't help wanting to _see_ Rey. He wants to watch her face the next time she comes undone.

He's seen it hundreds of times, it's burned into his memory. He dreams it up when she's busy with work or friends and he's left with just his hand to bring himself relief. He still likes to see it every time though, when it's real and raw and beautiful.

His hips begin a slow thrust, picking up pace when Rey's begin meeting him with a rhythm of her own. Her moans spill into the night air, mixing with his gasps and grunts and the slapping sound of his flesh against hers that makes for an incredibly erotic soundtrack.

He can hear the sounds of the city below them too, and finds it indecently exciting to wonder if anyone can see this, can see them, fucking on the hood of his car.

"Mmm f _uck_ ," he groans, getting closer to the edge of release, and he can feel that Rey is there too, her breath becoming more hitched, moans becoming more frantic. It's here where he watches her face intently, how her eyes are wrenched shut, mouth open, head thrown back and then with a shout that is echoed by his own, they both lose themselves in each other.

The last coherent thought he has is that he hopes to god that it works this time, that they'll find out a few months from now that this amazing sex resulted in a pregnancy at long last. But even if it doesn't, he has to put this down as one of their best times. Top 5 at least.

* * *

Ben is picking up their clothes from the ground. He shakes the dirt out of her underwear and hands them back to her, wiggling his eyebrows. She laughs and then uses them to hit his shoulder playfully.

He pulls his t-shirt over his head and sits on the bumper of the car, and Rey sits behind him, hooking her chin over his shoulder and putting her arms around him.

They're quiet for a moment, catching their breath and watching the headlights twinkle below. Rey nibbles on his earlobe and feels him shudder.

"So, about that position we just did..." she murmurs, making him chuckle.

"Did you like it?" He asks, as if that weren't already abundantly obvious.

It wasn't the first time they'd done it that way, but it'd been quite a while.

"I did," she answers, kissing his shoulder.

"I read it's supposed to be good for baby making."

He _would_ be researching stuff like that, being the nerd at heart that he is. He'd been giving her all sorts of random information she'd never expected to need to know, like which lube doesn't have spermicide and which prenatal vitamins were best.

It warmed her that he put so much time into it, that he _cared_ so much about the details and not just about fucking like rabbits until it happened.

"It must have worked really well then," Rey tells him, her face breaking out into a smile, "I'm already pregnant."

He looks at her as if he thinks she might be kidding him, but then realization dawns and his face breaks out into a slow, disbelieving grin. " _Really_?"

"Yeah," she tells him, feeling herself grinning right back at him. "I found out this morning, I was waiting for the right time to tell you."

"Holy shit." He's on his feet now, staring at her in open wonder and amazement. She stands too and he wraps her in a tight—but not _too_ tight—hug.

She can feel him trembling with excitement and the aftermath of his climax while she's in his arms, can see the wet happy tears on his face. She's pretty sure she has them on her face too. He plants kisses on the top of her head and tells her, awe-struck, "We're going to be _parents,_ sweetheart. We're going to have a _family_."

A family. The word settles over Rey like a warm blanket.

She'd belonged to his family, and now they were starting one of their own. It felt completing, wonderful, exhilarating and admittedly scary, but it was everything she ever wanted. And she couldn't imagine having it with anyone else but Ben.

* * *

Thanks for reading :) you guys are awesome!


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